Monday, October 19, 2009

I Am Hearing Voices . . .LOL!?

Over at the Muscle and Fitness Hers Forum a member posted this article :

I am gonna give it a try! I have been wishy washy and not stickin' to a specific plan. I want to bulk but get nervous about the weight, so I flip back to leaning, then I have a cheat and a higher carb day . . I need to have more structure. So I am gonna give this plan a go since it is very close to what I am doing now, and it will give me more peace of mind knowing I am actually following something. I will just tweak my diet and training to be more specifically in line with the article and clean up my eats a bit.

Today is day 1 of 5 lean eating days.

I had a cheat meal last night - tortilla chips with homemade artichoke and spinach dip OMGoodness it was so goood and the chips were so light a crispy and crunchy and lightly salted and the dip was so creamy and tangy and spinachy LOL! . . . but I have a huge tummy ache today

I am PMSing (it is really interesting that if you go back in my journal it ALWAYS seems to be when I am PMSing that I get all fired up want to try a new plan and have to do a weigh in and I am all water logged and then when I am ready to hit the gym and get started I get my period, WHY IS THIS??! I swear there must be a real pshycological reason)

anyway . . I weighed myself this morning . .

um . . .

I was 139.8! let's just round that to 140lb!!

BUT I don't really FEEL like 140lbs. (does that count ?)

I mean I am by no means rockin' my cute jeans, and things are a bit tight, but I have had my clothes fit MUCH worse when I weighed 135 before. So I am not entirely happy about how my clothes fit, but I know I am only 2 good weeks away from having most of my clothes feel comfy. Normally most chicks would FREAK OUT about steppin' on the scale and seeing an all time high off season weight . . but I am taking all things into account not just the scale. I am not allowing myself to freak out. Honestly it actually excites me! I am thinking I am gonna be sportin' some new rockin' curvey muscle when I lean out this spring!!

...that is yet to be seen tho LOL!!

. . . 140lbs . . craziness I tell ya! It's like I have a guy on each shoulder, like the devil and angel situation and one guy is sayin:

"freak out! this is not a good off-season you are gonna have a fat butt on stage!"

and the other is sayin:

" no worries! rejoice in your muscle gains, your not fat."

I am just a normal everyday woman with those crazy thoughts, voices in my head and internal battles too ! . . . helloo . it's not just me . . . right?! . . . helloooo.. *chirping crikets *

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