My New Fav's

My two current favorite foods (healthy fitnessy foods) currently are:

Chicken Breast with Almond Butter. YES! ALMOND BUTTER. *love* I 've been eating it alot and I am not sick of it yet.

and

Protein Pudding. I mix my chocolate protein powder, with some sugar free jello pudding powder add a little bit of water, stir till thick and smooth then, grab a big spoon, and take a 1Tbsp scoop of natural PB and stir that in. YUM! and when I drink a glass of water with that, woah! It fills me up!

Another thing I really like, is feeling soreness in my glute muscles! Like right deep down in the big fat buttcheeks that I am trying to trim down. I just imagine that soreness turning into muscle growth and givin' me a firm round booty. Maybe not how it works scientifically but it works just fine for my positive visualizations :P

HOLY CRAP 8 DAYS 'till my sisters wedding! I gotta go do some stuff . . . . .

Ta DA!

My first whimsical cake!

This was sooooo FUN!

The entire thing ( except for the twisty branches) is edible, even the heart and banner cake topper and flowers are made from marshmallow fondant.

Marshmallow Fondant.

1 bag of mini marshmallows

1kg bag of icing sugar

Crisco

Water

Use LOTS of Crisco (1/4 - 1/2 cup) and grease a large circle area on your counter to knead the fondant later.

Grease a microwaveable bowl with Crisco. Dump whole bag of marshmallows. Toss marshmallows with 1 tablespoon of water.

Microwave for 30 seconds stir. Repeat until marshmallows are all melted and a nice frothy liquid.

Add half the bag of icing sugar to the bowl and stir.

Dump the other half of the icing sugar on the greased counter and spread it out.

Dump the mixture in the bowl onto the counter and begin tot knead mixture just like you would bread dough. Work all the icing sugar into the fondant.

You can use it right away, or lightly grease it with Crisco and store it in a air tight bag for later use. You may need to microwave it for a few seconds to warm it up when you need to use it later.

Super easy, cheap, and YUMMY. No one has ever peeled the fondant off and left it on the side of their plate. I always get compliments on how yummy the fondant is and how surprised people were when they tasted it. :)

. . . yeah this is not a low fat or low sugar recipe by any means LOL!

Cake at Midnight

No, I am not wallowing in self pity and eating cake at midnight . . . I am just baking it . LOL!

Enuf of that funk I was in, I am back onto better things.

My bestest (ya I said bestest) friend just got engaged and we are having an engagement party this Wednesday. I am making the cake, YAY! It is also a trial run for the topsy turvy, whimsical, checkerboard cake I wanna make for my sisters wedding. So even tho it is one more thing on my busy plate I am havin' fun with it and glad to be doin' it cuz I have already learned what NOT to do LOL! this will save me time and stress next week. Bonus!

So . . . . . it is midnight and I am waiting for cake to finish baking. Cuz, I got a late start after goin' to the gym after hubby got off work, makin' supper, fumbling with 6 boxes of cake batter, taking a break to play a 4 player family game of Mario Carts on our practically antique Nintendo 64 (but still the best IMO) then put the kids to bed late like wayyyyy past 9 late, then finally finish scooping all the cake batter into the pans and wait for it all to cook . . .

. . . . yeah nothing like falling asleep to the smell of fresh baked cake :P

I am so excited to wake up tomorrow and play with marshmallow fondant and make a purrrdy cake! I'll show ya'll pics when it is done.

Oh, and just in case my run-on sentences annoy you . . . my life is one big run-on sentence and so goes my blog , that probably isn't gonna change. I know my blog grammar sucks , but I just don't care. I am edu-ma-cay-ted, I just choose to be care free here LOL!

I'm gonna go try to shut my brain off and ZZZZZzzzzzz.....

One more thing:

My 7 year old son said today:
"you are actually pretty good at all this wedding stuff"

Thoughts 'n' Stuff

I suffer from an anxiety disorder, and chronic depression . . .

. . . today I am freakin' out a bit. I am havin' one of those moments where I want everything and nothing at the same time.

I have all these thoughts that overwhelm my brain. Random thoughts that can not be put in logical order. They range from, wondering about taking care of my parents when they are old and need extra care, to wondering about how to plan a funeral, how I am going to pay my next bill, who my kids new school teachers are gonna be, what will I do if my kids get bullied, I hope my sister doesn't blame me if anything goes wrong at her wedding, where are my black workout pants?!! I have a lot of laundry to do, but for my constant feeling of a lack of having any clothes why is it so hard to find a place to put all this laundry!? I hope we don't get into a car accident this winter, I would really like to be able to afford good winter tires not just "winter rated all seasons" *rolling eyes* should I get a puppy to keep Tucker company, but what if I get a part time job will my dogs be lonely? Will I be too tired to spend quality time with my kids . . . the thoughts just keep coming and they all need an answer immediatley , so my brain thinks.

Not to mention all the projects and ideas and to do lists in my head that keep me so distracted I don't even know where to begin so I sit there and do nothing cuz I am too stressed about where to start, then the longer I sit with my thoughts the worse I feel, until I am too scared to get up cuz I feel like my next move would not be constructive

and all that gets so much worse when I am hormonal and have my period which brings me to my state today.

I should go to the gym, I know I will feel a bit better if I do. But I really need a break from my kids and I would rather spend a luxurious hour away from them doing anything else but sweating and feelin' like crap in the gym today . . .

which leads to another thought. I have this coupon for a one month pass to a local gym, that I am not a member at. BUT I am wondering if I could find someone who would want it and that I know and trust and would be willing to babysit my kids for it.

Yeah that's right I am contemplating paying a babysitter in coupons!

. . . and the date with my hubby would be paid for with coupons, we both probably have enough reward points to get free movie vouchers, and we have a coupon for a 2 for 1 dinner entree at our favorite Japanese grill.

I just need a break and some peace and quiet . . . I want to be alone but I don't want to be lonely.

I'm Thinkin' Burger.

We were driving by a roadside burger stand and I know I have gotten a milkshake there before, but I couldn't remember if I have ever tried their burgers or if they were any good.

So I ask my hubby " You've got a burger from there before haven't you?"

" I'm not sure why do you ask?"

" I was just wondering if they were good or not. I am just thinking about good burgers . . . "

then he said , (and this is the whole random point ) :

" I can't remember if they were memorable or not"

SERIOUSLY he was NOT kidding ! LOL!

I am just thinkin' hamburger, just thinkin' . . . .

Still Growing . . .

Recently I have been having a dilema about which competition to do next, and which federation to compete in . .

I am a current competitive member of the BCABBA. I placed 5th in my last competition. I need to place top 3 to qualify for provincials which is my current long term goal for now. My next opportunity to qualify is in November at the Sandra Wickham Fall Classic in New Westminster OR in April at the Western Canadians in Kelowna. OR I could join the INBF and do a show Oct 3rd which is a pro qualifier and there is even small amounts of cash to be won!

I am feelin' I won't be ready for an early October show. Even tho the idea of cash, no matter how little it may be is tempting, I just don't think I would be bringin' my A-Game. I don't think I would enjoy the prep as much cuz I'd be too stressed about the time crunch . . . maybe I'll try next year now that I know . . .

So that leaves me with the BCABBA shows. I have also decided against Nov. It is more than a 9 hour drive in winter weather . . too scary. Plus, my physique would not be ready IMO.

So, even tho I will have to re-new my BCABBA membership to compete in April, I think that gives me the best amount of time to really bring up my weak areas and then trim down my excess. :P Plus, that show is only a 7 hour drive, and in a much better season.

I think taking extra time is a going to be a wise decision. I sat down and thought about it. My long term goal for now is to make it to Provincials. So I have a whole YEAR before provincials, so I should really take advantage of that time. There is no need to rush onto the stage again (other than I have so much fun doing it) I really need to take this time to make the changes I need to in order to actually accomplish my long term goal. So, even tho it may feel like I am doing nothing at times cuz I am not really in contest prep mode, I really am working toward my goal, with each workout and putting my all into it to build up my weak areas. It will be a very exciting "reveal" when I lean down again and see what changes I have made!!

I was reading Heather Bears blog today. http://phatbearclaw.blogspot.com/ She has recently made the same decision to postpone competing in order to really work on her physique. But what she said to today really struck me :

Quote:
"Kenny and I finally got a weekend together w/ Jen, Brian, Lishia and some of Brian's family at Lake Erie. This was a NON-working weekend and I had a blast. It was nice to get away. Kenny and I have never been there before. For the first time, all of us sat down and had a drink, cheeseburger and fries. This never happens because one of us is always dieting for a show. My husband was actually the one that noticed it. Kenny said, "you're all eating"!!!! It is so nice to eat and have fun and NOT worry about it. Lishia made a statement that made alot of sense. We are in our off-season and we think we look fat, but the difference is that we know how to get it off in 8-12 weeks where others don't. We actually look half way decent compare to the rest of the women out there. This is where women have issues, they think we look like we do at a show, year round-and we can't. I've had a few people tell me, wow your puttin on weight-and I just say YES and I love it. The only way to make changes to your body is to put on weight while continuing to workout in your off-season. Anyways, my point was that I had a blast and ate ALOT!!!! "

I have put on WEIGHT! I weighed myself this morning and I was at 134.4!! Not where I need to be to fit my cute little jeans. BUT it is a wayyyy different 134lbs that it would have been a few years ago. I can still fit most of my everyday clothes right now. If I weighed 134lbs a few years ago I would been 5 sizes BIGGER! and much much JIGGLIER! Right now I can still see some definition and I can see some veins popping in my shoulders and arms at the gym when I am all pumped. The condition of my butt however is not so lucky . . LOL!

And I also realized that in order to add the muscle that I want, I am going to be heavier even when I lean down next time. This is a continual process of growing and learning. I have to allow my mind to grow with my expectations. This last competition taught me a bit of that. I was probably 115-117 when I stepped on stage - my fist comp I was 113. I could have freaked out this time and not felt ready cuz in my mind I had to be 113 to be stage ready. But the reality is I WAS ready and I looked better at my new 117 than I did at my old 113, cuz I had added more muscle. I was heavier this time but I was LEANER this time.

2007 vs 2009

So now that I see the scale going up I am trying not to freak. 134 could be freak out stuff for me (most of my teens and my 20's i never weighed more than 120, but I am smaller now so HA!), but I have been training hard and heavy and some of that is muscle, some of it is water, and I need the weight right now to help me get to my goal, so I am gonna embrace it . . . . . . to a certain point LOL!

In all honesty it could be better. My diet has been extremely horrible, which has led to such rapid weight gain. This past weekend was a long weekend and my in laws made a 5 day stay out of it. I had at at least 2 beers or coolers a day, I made 2 different ice cream cakes, I ate nachos, and an entire $3 bag of 5cent gummy candies! and hamburgers, and hot dogs, and pasta salad, and potato chips and more . . .

I don't eat like that everyday, so with a return to clean eating I won't be as pooofy as I am now but the lesson is still the same, I WILL be heavier. I need to continue to adapt my expectations I am still learning and growing . . . (in many ways LOL!)

Eat, Drink, and Be Poofy!

Here's to new begginings! LOL!

So..... my inlaws were here for 4 1/2 days. And I chillaxed, I just went with the flow and I ate what I wanted and drank what I wanted went to the gym . . . once

That was actually a good thing, cuz most of last week was a write off due to an unusual family emergency. Most times I can get around interuptions in my schedule and carry on, but last week just blew me outta the water. So it was AWESOME when my bro-in-law asked to go tot the gym!! I got him and my sis-in-law a 7 day free visitors pass (tee hee hee . . . shhhh!) We had intentions of going at least twice while they were here . . . intentions . . .

Not only did they help get me to the gym, but yesterday (last day of their visit) they all schemed with my hubby to get me outta the house. The got me hook line and sinker by asking if I wanted to take pics of my nephews at the skatepark!

While I was gone they CLEANED MY HOUSE!! It is so sparkly and shiny! It is cleaner than when they got here, they even wiped my kids hand prints of the wall in the hally and dusted my ceiling fan kinda cleaning! WOW! I should be good for like 2 weeks now! (jk)

So for all my stressing and freakin' out last week, things are lookin' up in a huge way! :)

So now I am 3 1/2 weeks away from my lil'sis' wedding, and I got to get my butt in gear!!

I am going to try a more moderate approach to Keto . . . (I know, I know, ya'll are thinkin' make up your mind you wishy washy flake! LOL!) But, instead of eating bacon and sausage and megga ammounts of fat like traditional keto I am following the plan outlined in a book by Team Scivation it is a FREE download, and if I love anything more than fitness it is FREE STUFF, so you combine free and fitness well that is like orgasm good! (oh no she din't !!) LOL!

http://www.scivationbooks.com/12weeks.htm

oh and another thing that is amazing peanut and almond butter are encouraged and a preferable fat source on this plan . OMGoh oh! oh! oh! ooohhhh.......

K, I'm done. :P