Whirlwind and Dieting

Well . . technically I am not reeeally dieting, I am supposed to be building muscle while putting on little to no fat. But, today I feel like I am dieting. Wholly Moley! I was doing the blank stare and pacing in the kitchen looking at the clock and the list of acceptable choices on my meal plan . .

I did resort to actually WEIGHING out a 1/4 pkg portion of fat free/ sugar free jello chocolate pudding powder and mixed that with 2 scoops of my Body Wise Chocolate protein powder ( elance frappe - soooo a girly sounding protein . . I think they are working on that lol! ) I added in 1 tbsp of chunky (OMG chunky!)all natural peanut butter. That hit the spot! Nuthin' like chewing a protein shake LOL!

I have been getting smaller . . I feel smaller. I am constantly looking for signs. Like my medium workout pants are no having loose material and the crotch creeps down and I have to keep pulling my pants up :)

I actually weigh 1lb MORE than when I started on Feb 3rd. BUT if that is muscle I am a HAPPY GIRL! Jason at Natty Nutrition seems to be confident this is muscle gain and is happy. I do have to send him new pics this weekend and he wants a side by side comparison of my first pics to now.

. . GULP! . . always makes me nervous . . excited and nervous . . .

Work has been crrrazzzy for me lately. If I am not covered in sugar from making cakes then I am covered in sweat training clients, doing my own training.

I do have a bunch of research, and client plans to work on before Monday. So I need to find a bit more time to plant my butt at the computer.

For the most part I have been VERY thankful for the extra work. I am doing what I LOVE, and the distraction makes sticking to a diet easier (as long as you are PREPARED!! and PLAN AHEAD! - very key)

But today was one of those days no matter how busy I was,  I obsessed about food just a little . .

I have talked about these days before . . it is like hitting a wall just gotta get to the other side . . .

Woah! reading that blog entry took me back. Talking about my "cycle" that just really struck me. I am not EVER going to have a period EVER again . . I forget that sometimes. It was a really cool moment when it hit me and I went thru my undie drawer and got rid of all my ugly period panties!! THAT was awesome!!

I try not to think of the things that are gone and worry too much about what may come with menopause, and having it 20 years sooner than I should . .

I have been having incredible moments of realization that this surgery was the right choice. So many things that i took for granted that hurt. I notice more now cuz I DOESN'T HURT!! So many things seem so new to me because , it doesn't hurt. I have had several moments that instead of crying tears of pain and frustration I am crying tears of joy as I experience something for the first time WITH NO PAIN . . ohhhh THAT is what that feels like with no pain!!

wow! and I was actually struggling with what to blog about ha ha!