Still Growing . . .

Recently I have been having a dilema about which competition to do next, and which federation to compete in . .

I am a current competitive member of the BCABBA. I placed 5th in my last competition. I need to place top 3 to qualify for provincials which is my current long term goal for now. My next opportunity to qualify is in November at the Sandra Wickham Fall Classic in New Westminster OR in April at the Western Canadians in Kelowna. OR I could join the INBF and do a show Oct 3rd which is a pro qualifier and there is even small amounts of cash to be won!

I am feelin' I won't be ready for an early October show. Even tho the idea of cash, no matter how little it may be is tempting, I just don't think I would be bringin' my A-Game. I don't think I would enjoy the prep as much cuz I'd be too stressed about the time crunch . . . maybe I'll try next year now that I know . . .

So that leaves me with the BCABBA shows. I have also decided against Nov. It is more than a 9 hour drive in winter weather . . too scary. Plus, my physique would not be ready IMO.

So, even tho I will have to re-new my BCABBA membership to compete in April, I think that gives me the best amount of time to really bring up my weak areas and then trim down my excess. :P Plus, that show is only a 7 hour drive, and in a much better season.

I think taking extra time is a going to be a wise decision. I sat down and thought about it. My long term goal for now is to make it to Provincials. So I have a whole YEAR before provincials, so I should really take advantage of that time. There is no need to rush onto the stage again (other than I have so much fun doing it) I really need to take this time to make the changes I need to in order to actually accomplish my long term goal. So, even tho it may feel like I am doing nothing at times cuz I am not really in contest prep mode, I really am working toward my goal, with each workout and putting my all into it to build up my weak areas. It will be a very exciting "reveal" when I lean down again and see what changes I have made!!

I was reading Heather Bears blog today. http://phatbearclaw.blogspot.com/ She has recently made the same decision to postpone competing in order to really work on her physique. But what she said to today really struck me :

Quote:
"Kenny and I finally got a weekend together w/ Jen, Brian, Lishia and some of Brian's family at Lake Erie. This was a NON-working weekend and I had a blast. It was nice to get away. Kenny and I have never been there before. For the first time, all of us sat down and had a drink, cheeseburger and fries. This never happens because one of us is always dieting for a show. My husband was actually the one that noticed it. Kenny said, "you're all eating"!!!! It is so nice to eat and have fun and NOT worry about it. Lishia made a statement that made alot of sense. We are in our off-season and we think we look fat, but the difference is that we know how to get it off in 8-12 weeks where others don't. We actually look half way decent compare to the rest of the women out there. This is where women have issues, they think we look like we do at a show, year round-and we can't. I've had a few people tell me, wow your puttin on weight-and I just say YES and I love it. The only way to make changes to your body is to put on weight while continuing to workout in your off-season. Anyways, my point was that I had a blast and ate ALOT!!!! "

I have put on WEIGHT! I weighed myself this morning and I was at 134.4!! Not where I need to be to fit my cute little jeans. BUT it is a wayyyy different 134lbs that it would have been a few years ago. I can still fit most of my everyday clothes right now. If I weighed 134lbs a few years ago I would been 5 sizes BIGGER! and much much JIGGLIER! Right now I can still see some definition and I can see some veins popping in my shoulders and arms at the gym when I am all pumped. The condition of my butt however is not so lucky . . LOL!

And I also realized that in order to add the muscle that I want, I am going to be heavier even when I lean down next time. This is a continual process of growing and learning. I have to allow my mind to grow with my expectations. This last competition taught me a bit of that. I was probably 115-117 when I stepped on stage - my fist comp I was 113. I could have freaked out this time and not felt ready cuz in my mind I had to be 113 to be stage ready. But the reality is I WAS ready and I looked better at my new 117 than I did at my old 113, cuz I had added more muscle. I was heavier this time but I was LEANER this time.

2007 vs 2009

So now that I see the scale going up I am trying not to freak. 134 could be freak out stuff for me (most of my teens and my 20's i never weighed more than 120, but I am smaller now so HA!), but I have been training hard and heavy and some of that is muscle, some of it is water, and I need the weight right now to help me get to my goal, so I am gonna embrace it . . . . . . to a certain point LOL!

In all honesty it could be better. My diet has been extremely horrible, which has led to such rapid weight gain. This past weekend was a long weekend and my in laws made a 5 day stay out of it. I had at at least 2 beers or coolers a day, I made 2 different ice cream cakes, I ate nachos, and an entire $3 bag of 5cent gummy candies! and hamburgers, and hot dogs, and pasta salad, and potato chips and more . . .

I don't eat like that everyday, so with a return to clean eating I won't be as pooofy as I am now but the lesson is still the same, I WILL be heavier. I need to continue to adapt my expectations I am still learning and growing . . . (in many ways LOL!)