Fitting It All In . . .

Do WHAT ?! Huh?!!

2011-07-09T20:24:00.000-07:00

I am 8 days out from the BCABBA Provincial Championships!

I hit 115.1 this morning!! The goal was to be at 116 by this coming Monday . .well guess I beat that !! Muahahahaaa. Thing is, Jason at Natty Nutrition - My Nutrition coach doesn't want me to lose any more weight. He said that if i get below 115 he will have to "do" something about that . . I interpret that as FEED MEE!!

But, also due to my rapid loss here, I DON'T HAVE TO DO ANY MORE HIIT!!!
I also get to "pull back on the cardio" less 20 min each day now!! BONUS!!

I have NEVER had to DECREASE cardio before a show before!!

Suit is not done yet . . grrroan . . .

But I got the dragon fly on the bum finally now I have to add pretty sparkly flowers and details and border with black hematite to make my black lycra sparkle :)

Postal Posting

2011-06-30T16:40:00.001-07:00

Well the last tome I posted I was talking about the postal service and eagerly awaiting packages... Oh how I wish for those days of "normal" wait times!!

The Canada Post strike (tho I have been told is now over) has slowed the shipment of my supplements!!

I was supposed to be taking Estracort 3 weeks ago ... Still don't have it :(
My Scivation Showtime probably won't be here in time either. But I was just at my local GNC today and they said they should have some next week! Hopefully !!!

So the Nicole Wilkins DVD. LOVED IT! I have tried a few of the workout tips from it already. I would like to try the track workouts too, but I will save that for after competition. My last time at the track resulted in a quad injury. I am pretty much 2 weeks out now and not taking any chances!

Ya, 2 weeks out ! The finish line is in sight!! Unless of course I get to make an encore appearance in Saskatoon the following weekend for Nationals!!

My prep is going very well. I have NEVER been in this condition !! Crazy new lines and definition like never before, I am very happy. The best ME yet... So we'll just have to see what the judges think ;)

I will have to post some progress pics for y'all

But if you can't wait you can always pop into my journal at Muscle and Fitness Hers :)

Going Postal!

2011-04-29T16:31:00.000-07:00

I am going crazy with anticipation! I have several packages that I am eagerly awaiting the arrival of!!

Experience the entire preparation routine that 2009 Figure Olympia champion Nicole Wilkins goes through as she readies to defend the most prestigious title in the world. Follow along as she takes you step-by step through workouts for every muscle group, two high intensity track workouts and reveals her diet secrets for a lean, strong and sculpted physique. Bonus behind-the-scenes view of the Olympia and posing instruction from one of the sport's best. This entertaining and informative DVD is a must-have not only for competitors, but also for those looking to get in the best shape of their lives!

You can buy it here

I ordered one and I can't WAIT for it to get here!! gonna watch it while I do my cardio in the morning!

I also ordered my crystals to decorate my posing suit! I sold last years suit for $250 and so far I have spent $150 on gems. I splurged a little and got some specialty shapes ; teardrops and butterflies, and plenty of the regular crystals as well ! I am very excited to get started on that and show you guys!

In the meantime I have a couple other competitors suit to work on.

The Weigh It Goes

2011-04-29T13:09:00.000-07:00

Well, flu season has been rough on me! I figure it is because deep inside my body is still recovering from surgery, thus making me succeptable to all the bugs going around.

I had the flu again last week. My temp got up to 104.4!! I went to see the Doc and it turned out I had Strep Throat as well. Got some antibiotics for that.

Today my son is home sick. I did get my morning cardio in before breakfast all 50 minutes of it. So, plan B . . have to hit the gym tonight for Chest and Arms and 22min HIIT

How did I do with my diet while I was sick ?? Well, I actually did not eat ANYTHING not on my plan while I was sick!! I threw up my chicken and broccoli, so after that most of my meals were shakes, for about a day and a half. Then for another two days I fought off my gag reflex and ate my food. Oh and eating grapefruit with strep throat . . not fun . . that takes some kick @ss dedication right there if I do say so ! LOL!

My weight went all the way down to 125lbs!!

After a couple days and fully recovered I went up to 127. My weight previously had been 129. FINALLY got under that stubborn 130!

This past week my weight has fluctuated between 126.4 and 127.4

I am 11 weeks out now!! The BIG countdown is on!!

At 2 weeks out last year I was hovering around 127lbs! So . . . ummm . . . I guess I am gonna look a whole lot better this year huh! LOL!

Very excited about all that is to come!

Cake Updates!

2011-04-28T18:31:00.000-07:00

Well, lets get rid of the pictures . . moves onto something else!! I have new progress pics . . but not really in the mood to post . . you can go to M&F Hers and look at my journal overthere if you are that curious ha ha ha !

I never did blog about the week of red velvet. It was the week before Valentines and I had 3 cake orders in quick succession. But my red velvet seems to be very popular!! Alll the most recent cakes I have done have all been red velvet.

50th B-Day party ,

the womans nickname at work is "hollywood"

they were doing a Hollywood theme party.

This was a very fun concept to do

The second cake was a death by Cupid / Tim Burton/ mad hatter inspired

valentines cake. My brother sent me a bunch of pictures

with concepts he was looking for and this is what I came up with

This was a surprise cake for an 8 year old birthday girl.

Very fun cake to do, and boy was she blown away!!

That cake led to another B-Day cake order . . .

That lucky girl got TAYLOR SWIFT TICKETS !!

That was a death by chocolate cake.

My most recent project. Once again Red Velvet.

Formal 10 year anniversarryparty, individual cakes,

and a mini 4 inch 2 tier cake for the couple

The Numbers on the Scale . . .

2011-03-20T23:05:00.000-07:00

How often do those numbers ruin your day?!

How often do you judge your progress by those digits on the crazy contraption?!

Well, the proof is in the pictures . . not that I am super dooper proud of my physique YET in the pics they do teach a valuable lesson so I will suck it up, bow my head, eat some low calorie carb free humble pie, and share them.

Those pictures are only 1 week apart. I weigh MORE in the picture on the right, YET I am tighter . . . I felt skinnier all week. then my Trainer asks for update pics because all week my weight kept going UP! (well, poo and who knows what else) it was not fat.

Intriguing , no? So many gals would be freaking out if they were eating 100% on par with trainers orders, no cheats, doing all their cardio , all there workouts , effort to the max, and you GAINED weight?!

ALSO . . what if you were training for WEEEEKS and the scale wasn't budging ??? hmm . . what then??? I started Feb 1st post surgery 6-7 weeks weighing in at 132.8lbs. Today I weigh . . .. drumroll . . . 132.8 I have had my weight go up and down and up and down . . now resting at the same weight I started at ?!

The pics . . .

STOP the SCALE INSANITY! Easier said than done, I realize . . . but hopefully these pics resonate with you just a little bit and you stop and think the next time you rely only on the number the scale says . . .

Whirlwind and Dieting

2011-02-24T21:57:00.000-08:00

Well . . technically I am not reeeally dieting, I am supposed to be building muscle while putting on little to no fat. But, today I feel like I am dieting. Wholly Moley! I was doing the blank stare and pacing in the kitchen looking at the clock and the list of acceptable choices on my meal plan . .

I did resort to actually WEIGHING out a 1/4 pkg portion of fat free/ sugar free jello chocolate pudding powder and mixed that with 2 scoops of my Body Wise Chocolate protein powder ( elance frappe - soooo a girly sounding protein . . I think they are working on that lol! ) I added in 1 tbsp of chunky (OMG chunky!)all natural peanut butter. That hit the spot! Nuthin' like chewing a protein shake LOL!

I have been getting smaller . . I feel smaller. I am constantly looking for signs. Like my medium workout pants are no having loose material and the crotch creeps down and I have to keep pulling my pants up :)

I actually weigh 1lb MORE than when I started on Feb 3rd. BUT if that is muscle I am a HAPPY GIRL! Jason at Natty Nutrition seems to be confident this is muscle gain and is happy. I do have to send him new pics this weekend and he wants a side by side comparison of my first pics to now.

. . GULP! . . always makes me nervous . . excited and nervous . . .

Work has been crrrazzzy for me lately. If I am not covered in sugar from making cakes then I am covered in sweat training clients, doing my own training.

I do have a bunch of research, and client plans to work on before Monday. So I need to find a bit more time to plant my butt at the computer.

For the most part I have been VERY thankful for the extra work. I am doing what I LOVE, and the distraction makes sticking to a diet easier (as long as you are PREPARED!! and PLAN AHEAD! - very key)

But today was one of those days no matter how busy I was, I obsessed about food just a little . .

I have talked about these days before . . it is like hitting a wall just gotta get to the other side . . .

Woah! reading that blog entry took me back. Talking about my "cycle" that just really struck me. I am not EVER going to have a period EVER again . . I forget that sometimes. It was a really cool moment when it hit me and I went thru my undie drawer and got rid of all my ugly period panties!! THAT was awesome!!

I try not to think of the things that are gone and worry too much about what may come with menopause, and having it 20 years sooner than I should . .

I have been having incredible moments of realization that this surgery was the right choice. So many things that i took for granted that hurt. I notice more now cuz I DOESN'T HURT!! So many things seem so new to me because , it doesn't hurt. I have had several moments that instead of crying tears of pain and frustration I am crying tears of joy as I experience something for the first time WITH NO PAIN . . ohhhh THAT is what that feels like with no pain!!

wow! and I was actually struggling with what to blog about ha ha!

Over and Over in my Head . .

2011-02-03T09:19:00.000-08:00

This is what I will be repeating over and over in my head this year . . .

Feelin' Bad A$$ !

2011-02-01T19:52:00.001-08:00

I trained a client at the local PRISON today ...

... Ya...

No, my client is not an inmate, LOL!
she just works at the local prison and has free 24 hour access to the staff gym.

We had her prison guard boyfriend with us. But really, we were never near any inmates. The gym has it's own outside entrance.

Doesn't that just sound so bad ass tho ?!!

LOL! I've been watching too much lockdown on National Geographic!

Catching Up . . .

2011-01-23T22:28:00.000-08:00

I hate it when I get so far behind in blogging that I don't even know where to begin.

I also am not really a fan of epic length posts with wayyy too much information and really long stories.

Well, let's get caught up and try to keep it short and sweet :)

So, when I last posted I was all excited about heading to the Sandra Wickham Fall Classic. What I didn't tell you is that I was expecting to go in for surgery at any moment. I was just waiting for the call.

Long story short, after 15 years of near constant pain that had gotten worse and interfering more and more with my life and daily activities, my malfunctioning woman bits had to come out - ALL of it - ovaries and uterus, cervix. It was a decision I had been avoiding for years . . but I finally made peace with it. I have two very beautiful, healthy, wonderful children. A boy and a girl. I am blessed.

After a longer wait than I expected and then a change in surgery to a later date I finally went in on Dec 16th.

Well, my body has some crazy genetic phenomenon that has been discovered over the years. My chiropractor discovered a calcification around the nerve and blood vessel in my neck at the base of my skull called a pons posticus, only something like 10-15% of the population has it.

My Chiropractor also discovered a deformed vertebrae in my lumbar spine called facet tropism.

Then when I had dye injected and my kidneys x-rayed it was discovered that I have an extra tube on my right Kidney.

WELL, during my surgery it was discovered that a large vein in the abdominal area ,that is supposed to be much deeper in the pelvic cavity , in my body is near the surface. This was discovered when the surgeon severed it as he was at the end of my opening incision.

Let me repeat, there is NOT supposed to be a vein there. The surgeon was not careless. Woman have c-sections and hysterectomy all the time, there is not supposed to be a vein there.

Well, I am bleeding profusely. I lost a Liter of blood in just about 2 minutes. They had to call in another surgeon to help stop the bleed and do a repair. The severed vein had retracted up into my abdominal muscle and they had to separate my muscle tissue layer to retrieve it, clamp it and then repair the vein and then sew my muscle tissue back together.

As a result a 3 day hospital stay turned into almost 6. I had to convince them to let me go home on the 6th day, with the promise I would stay in bed. They were wanting me to be more independant before they released me. i was not able to walk more than 5-10 feet with assistance and supervision. My hemoglobin had gotten dangerously low, I was very weak and at major risk of collapsing or fainting.

Well, after 3 weeks at home my hemoglobin had recovered from 5.8 to 11.5 by now it should be back up to 13. It will take longer for my iron levels to recover, I still feel fatigued.

But this Thursday I am coming up on week six of recovery.

I GREATLY underestimated how difficult this surgery would be. This had been my 7th time under anaesthetic. I was thinking "how difficult can this be?! I have been thru surgery before. I am young, healthy, active, I will recovery faster than most. "

Well, I am still sore internally, not too bad externally. I can move almost pain free, sneezing and coughing are bearable now, but still very scary and unpleasant. I can bend over to tie my shoes!! THAT was a major obstacle to going back to the gym LOL!

Even tho I should be able to go back to the gym this week for light activity ( not sure I know what constitutes "light activity" ) I am scared. Scared I will push to hard and hurt myself. Scared that I look fat, and that for a sponsored competitor I should be representing better!

But I am back to work Monday training clients, so that is getting me back into the gym whether I am "fat" or not! LOL! Hoping this lights a fire in me again, and I just stop whining about feeling fat and just DO something about it!!

So, I kept that as short as I could and hopefully not too "boo hoo poor me" - which is why I hesitated and procrastinated posting this here in the first place.

Let's get back to training, and life, and adventure! After I am all done healing and I have the wonderful prospect of feeling healthy and pain free this could be a GREAT year !!

WHAT A SHOW!

2010-11-29T10:27:00.000-08:00

This years Sandra Wickham Fall Classic was huge!! HUGE I tell ya!! Almost 150 competitors , making it the largest show in BC history. The audience set records too, the evening show had 1,103 attend, THE biggest crowd at ANY Canadian show, nationally or provincially!

The girls did great for their first competition. The competition was TIGHT! Wow! the caliber of athletes was IMPRESSIVE! definitely gonna make me work hard and focus for Provincials this summer!!

Jodi looking Fab during pre-judging

Mel, giving a little sass during her photo shoot

Jodi Placed 7th and Mel placed 6th. It was their first figure show and nerves got them a bit, and their posing was a little off . . could have been more relaxed at times, or more tight at times. But they really looked beautiful and they did great, I am so proud of them!! They used it as a great learning experience and will use that for their next show. Both want to work on their lats, they need to work on V-Taper :)

Two great super classy girls, so glad to call them teammates!!

WAY TO GO GIRLS!

This is SO COOL!

2010-11-09T16:09:00.000-08:00

I am finally catching up with 21st century technology! I am able to blog on the go now. I updated my ancient little flip phone and got me an iPhone!

This is going to be so handy for this weekend. I am traveling down to New Westminster to see my two BWX Sports teammates compete in the Sandra Wickham Fall Classic. They are looking fabulous, they are the complete package. I am confident they will be placing in the top 3!

I enjoying my new toy, er business tool.

Downloaded and started using a free app called MyFitnessPal it is super handy and takes all the guess work out of my meals.

Also a run tracker app. Maps my route, my speed, distance, elevation all that cool stuff!
I tried that for the first time today and now I can't imagine doing an outdoor workout without it.

Yup took me less than 24 hours to be addicted and dependent on my iPhone

THE Moment !

2010-10-26T09:09:00.000-07:00

Look at this photo!!!

I saw that pic this morning and it gave me GOOSEBUMPS!!

THE MOMENT . . . YOUR moment . . . that split second before you compose yourself, breathe deep, tell yourself you are the most beautiful girl in the show . . the moment you get the judges all to yourself . . all eyes on you . . the moment you shed blood sweat and tears for . . .

GAW! that picture just fires me up inside!!!

LOVE IT!

Shoulder Day

2010-10-19T14:08:00.000-07:00

Shoulder day is MY FAVE! I saw this video of Pauline Nordin doing 1 arm shoulder presses with a 50lb DB!! She was spotting herself setting the weight up with her free arm and then doing the negative.

I CAN'T FIND THAT VIDEO!

I don't know where I saw that . . if anyone finds it let me know please.

So I made my own video today. I am using a 35lb DB not nearly as bada$$ as Ms. Fighter Diet and on my second try with the left side I had a pretty shaky start, but got it under control.

My hubby did the video for me :)

This is only my second time doing these. I tried them last week for the first time and I only got ONE set of 4 reps and I was DONE!

Today I got 5 reps on my first set and then did TWO more sets of four after that!! Fueled by Body Wise??? I am feeling pretty darn awesome today . . and my recovery after my workout was great mentally anyway. My muscles feel toasted but 10 minutes after I was done I wanted to go to the gym and kick A$$ at something else! LOL!

Oh, speaking of really cool stuff, my gym is launching TRX Suspension training classes this week. LOVE IT! . . .mostly cuz I didn't face plant! LOL! . . . Seriously I have been wanting to buy those things and give it a try for - EVER ! it will be a class that costs extra, not included in the membership . that kinda sux . .but maybe I can afford to go once a week or every 2 weeks maybe. REALLY love it sooo MUCH!

It's HERE!!

2010-10-18T21:34:00.000-07:00

My first box of BWX Sports Supplements came today just after 4pm!!

Oooohh look at that!!

Certificate of quality in every shipment!

That is a huge pile of great quality immune boosting,

cellular energy producing,
recovery promoting supplements right there!

THANK YOU BWX SPORTS !

I am very excited to use these supplements and blog about their benefits !

Look Again

2010-10-16T15:39:00.000-07:00

This was my most challenging cake to date ! I was asked to make a cake that looked like a stack of files. Two guys at the steel workers union office had birthdays and this was to look like a stack of grievances for them.

The entire thing is edible . . if you so choose to eat all that sugary marshmallow paste :P . . the files, pen , paperclips, coffee mug, pocket knife, motorbike key, desk calendar, post -it, is all fondant work. The cake was carrot with cream cheese frosting.

The cake was a HUGE hit! The guys didn't even recognize it as a cake ! It was the talk of the office and all my business cards were snapped up! I am looking forward to more projects in the future :)

SPONSORSHIP?! ME?!

2010-10-14T16:11:00.000-07:00

Well you see can by a few changes I have made to my blog that I got the sponsorship!
How COOOL is that!? I am so honoured to have even been considered , to have even been OFFERED a sponsorship, but to actually be part of the team, a BWX Sports sponsored athlete WOW!

This is bigger than I could have imagined. My supplements will be here next week, I will have a couple new shirts to work out in. There is mention of trips. appearances, booth work! WOW!
So many details yet to come!!

If you would have told me 5 years ago, heck even 2 years ago , if I would be where I am now . . . I wouldn't believe it it would be this big! Start living the life you want and everything else will fall in line.

So many people expect so much to happen when they reach their weight loss goal they feel that once they have that body that means then THEN they are living the life of a fit person. Live the life of a fit person NOW, and the body and all your dreams will follow!

My newest client wants to compete in June . . she may feel her body is a long way off, that she has to lose the weight before she can train for a competition. I told her last night after she totally kicked butt in her workout pushed so hard I thought her eyes were gonna fly out . .I said.

"YOU ARE TRAINING LIKE A FIGURE GIRL." You are doing it right now! You are eating like a competitor, your are training like a competitor . .the goal is right now! You are doing exactly what I do when I am 12 weeks out from a competition or I want to tighten things up in my off season. Her eyes got so big, and I saw her heart open up to a world of possibility that she thought was still out of her reach.

Where the mind goes the body follows. See clearly what "will be" in your mind and live it like it is NOW !

I love where my body has gone the past few years . . but more so . . .I love the mental maturity I have gained I have made huge progress there!

soooOOOOooo close!

2010-10-13T22:05:00.000-07:00

So , the BIG news . .

ug . . not so big anymore . . . I had an email from Jen Hendershott and one of her staff and we almost had a march date for her to bring her PHAT Camp to Prince George!!!

But Jen is so busy, family events this year, her new fitness retreats, and her new fitness studio, and requests for more cities in the states . .there is only one Jen to go around LOL!

So it is a wait and see how the year goes, don't give up hope, mayyybeeeeee . . .

It would be THE coolest thing ever to have her here in my city!!!

We'll just have to see.

Week In Review

2010-10-10T21:34:00.000-07:00

Highlights at the gym this week . . .

I did one legged squats on the smith machine. I crossed my ankle over my knee and got a good glute stretch as I did my squats too. REALLY felt that in every area of my butt; high and low! Definitely doing more of those next week . .well this week . .since today is Sunday :P

I also completed several reps of wide grip lat pulldowns with 95lbs . . very excited to try out the 105lbs and see how many reps I get! That is coming up tomorrow :)

Weight wise . . well . . I made it to the 133's much closer to the 130 that I did not want to go over. So my goal this week is to hit 130, and I will not weigh myself until Saturday.

Long term goal for this month is to be a good poo away from 125 :P

In the food category . . .

my usual breakfast of eggwhites and lean turkey pepperoni finally reached the point of "not enjoy" anymore . . it was gonna make me gag one morning. So now I am eating eggwhites, spinach and dill topped with cottage cheese YUM!

That got me craving greek food. So with my wonderful discovery that Costco now carries a good greek yogurt, I have made tzatziki and greek salad - oh, that reminds me I found goat cheese feta at Walmart ! SCORE! - I have all kinds of chicken prepped . . I am good to go for the week!

In the life category . . .

aside from the news blurb that is to be continued that I posted on Thursday most of the action happened on Friday.

It started with some really sad news from my 7 year old daughter. Her bestfriend since kindergarten had been diagnosed with, fought , and we thought won against a major brain tumor for most of kindergarten and grade one. We thought he was out of the woods . . but his cancer is back. Very very sad, hits close to home and he is such a sweet boy and his family is wonderful. So my daughter put on her green "TEAM JAMESON" bracelet Friday for school . . . gets me choked up just typing about it.

Their little elementary school of aprox. 300 students raised over $13,000 last year to help support the family with their expenses and travels costs !! It was phenomenal!

*sigh* That aside the day did get a lot better My client had an excellent weigh in and BF% test today despite the fact she had fought the flu for a few days since her last test. She is well on the mend now, but I was worried about muscle loss and PHEW! none! Fat lost, muscle preserved!! We had a kick butt leg training session.

While I was helping her do cable kick backs this random guy . . who obviously knows who I am I guess . . . pops over to blurt out " this girls demands no less than 50 reps a set!" LOL! I took it as a compliment.

Then as I was doing walking lunges with my client a local Rep/Consultant for Body Wise Nutritional Supplements is walking by and she asks me if I have a sponsor yet?! They are promoting sports nutrition on the newly re-done website
( www.bwxsports.com ) and want to feature more women. So I have an appointment next week to speak to a company rep on the phone to get more info. I have no idea what they are looking for, what to expect, what they are offering, etc . . . so we'll see . . . VERY COOL to be approached tho!!

Oh and I also won 2000 Petro Points at the gas station ! YAY me! LOL! I convert them into sears points and use them to get discounts or even free Clinique face care products !

So, let's see what news this next week will bring . . .

I Like It, I Love It . . .

2010-10-07T13:39:00.001-07:00

I want some more of it !

Well I have FINALLY discovered greek yogurt!! Not for a lack of lookin', I just couldn't find it at any grocery stores. Well, now Coscto *heart* carries a 0% fat greek yogurt !

If I am going to eat it all on its own it is pretty tart and I add a weeee bit of splenda.

But this afternoon I thought " HEY! that would go good on chicken! "

I didn't have any cucumber to make tzatziki with but I threw in some club house greek spices, dried dill weed, crushed garlic, and forgot the lemon juice LOL! . . didn't matter it was gooOOOoood!

I had a side of chopped spinach and cottage cheese with dill . . kinda reminded me of spanikopita * heart *

That will be my next meal of the day as well!

My chicken is pretty plain because that is what I had prepped in the fridge - boiled chicken. But NOW I wanna go thaw me out some MORE chicken, cover THAT in greek spices and make . . oh . .what are those greek meat skewer thingys called again? . . drawing a total blank . . SOUVLAKI . . thank you Google!

Mmmmmm Souvlaki and tzatziki! oh now I am craving diced tomatoes, tangy olives, red onion, cucumber, and goat cheese, mm maybe even some avocado . . Dang! Now I gotta go grocery shopping my fridge is pretty empty and that just won't do!

STOP THE PRESSES !

2010-10-07T10:24:00.000-07:00

I have VERY exciting news!!! I received an email from Jen Hendershott yesterday regarding 2011 PHAT Camp and I am in a whirlwind of excitement about it!!!

As soon as things are confirmed I will fill ya'll in!

Until then keep your eye on http://www.getphatwithjen.com/

for the new 2011PHAT Camp Tour Dates and CITIES! ;)

New Neighbor!!

2010-10-01T09:38:00.001-07:00

Meet Rico!!

Hi, my name RrrrrrrICO! We be friends!

This past week we have had new neighbors move in and they seem like great people!! Very happy about that . . let's just say the last neighbors were not so nice . . .

They have 3 young boys and our kids get along great, including our furry babies LOL! I was delighted to see they had a YORKIE!! He is adorable and I love him like my own! He is so CUTE and I LOOOVE his tail!! He is so friendly and happy and gets along great with my dogs.

Hi! . .sniff. . what's . . sniff . .your . . sniff .. name? . . sniff

The dogs are constantly back and forth between the yards

(the fence is all but falling apart . .to be replaced next spring $$$)

Rico even comes in our house and runs around and chills out with my dogs, they share food, steal toys from each others yard etc. It is so hilarious!

Rico has a little bell on his collar. Yesterday we were eating dinner and my dogs were on the couch and we here *jingle jingle jingle* both my dogs perk right up and want to go outside and play. Then Rico appears at the sliding patio door , peeks in the window, perks up his ears as if to say " HI! can Tucker and Wally come out to play?"

Rico chillin' on my couch.

Look at those huge furry ears LOL!

Seriously! He could fly with those things . .so cute!

He looks like a cartoon, or bobble head, or stuffed toy. He makes me chuckle.

I feel like we have adopted a 3rd dog. He is quite the little character and my dogs also love the neighbor boys too. They get all excited when they get home form school and they run out to the back yard to meet them.

I think it is so wonderful :)

That's Right 1000

2010-09-10T09:07:00.000-07:00

So a few weeks ago . . one of the last and few times I actually made it to the gym this summer I wanted to try something the gals over at the Muscle and Fitness hers Forums had been talking about 1000 Body Weight squats!! that is 10 sets of 100 reps.

WHAT?!!!

Yeah, don't let the no added weight thing fool ya. It is ALOT harder than it sounds . . . oh, you did think it sounded hard ?? :P

I wanted to quit after my first 100, lol Then I told myself to get to 500 and gives myself something to work up to. Then I told myself you better finish this darn thing cuz you ain't gonna wanna do it again!!!

Long grueling story short. I did it. Felt like wet noodles walking out of the gym . . and then I had the worst ouchy legs for 4 days and could still feel soreness 7 DAYS LATER!!!

So, what do I want to try today?

1000 Lunges LOL!!

BUT, I am wanting to do alternating lunges, so really I am only doing 10 sets of 50 per leg to add up to 1000 total . . . so I am thinkin' it may be easier ????

I'll let ya know how that goes LOL!

Man Prop.

2010-09-07T23:05:00.000-07:00

I did another photo shoot with a local photographer Cristoberly Bustamante - Progressive Edge Photography on Sunday.

I have wanted to do a "Trash the Dress" shoot for awhile now. I had some definite ideas in my head I wanted to do. I chose the locations and dreamed up my images I wanted to capture and the photographer did more than awesome in making my dreams a reality!!! I had to drag my hubby along to be my "man prop" LOL!! He won't admit it, but by the end he was havin' fun.

I had a BLAST!!! I fought off hoards of red ants, the photographer got bitten when one climbed up into his pants! . .ooops! . . Actually I can't believe I got only one tiny little bite. I was walking around the swarms of ants BAREFOOT!! I had LOADS of them all up in my crinolin. Even the NEXT DAY after swimming in the river and letting my clothes sit in a big wet heap overnight, then hanging my crinolin for a day in the bathroom I was folding it up to take back to the bridal shop I rented it from and there was another red ant in there STILL ALIVE!!!!

Climbing a tree in a wedding dress with loads of crinolin and tulle and organza in the way . . challenging and oh so funny!

I live in Central British Columbia Canada so the water here is now just a weeeee bit chilly!!!

But I braved the cold waters cuz I really wanted to do the water shot. All along the guys are like " that is gonna be so cold" . . . "are you sure?!!" . . . " that is gonna be so cold!"

The dress actually helped keep me warm like a wet suit. OMG it weighed a TON when I got out of the water!!!

The water shots are my absolute FAVE!!!

I didn't actually "trash" my dress. I got pretty dirty when I climbed up the tree. It had been raining and the ground was kinda muddy and the tree was dirty. BUT by the time I took a few dunks in the river it was pretty much rinsed clean LOL!

I took it home and hung it in my shower and rinsed it with some hot water and VOILA! All clean! My daughter may want to wear it one day, I will get it professionally cleaned etc. if she so decides.

Here are a few of my favorite shots from the shoot . . .

Wrap It Up

2010-08-20T14:43:00.000-07:00

Let's wrap up the catch up ! I can't seem to go forward until that is done.

June 12th Northern Classic . . . .

My awesome friend Deidre.

She is my first figure girl client!

I GOT FIRST PLACE!!! And my first figure girl client and best friend Deidre placed SECOND!! How incredibly cooooool is that?!!?! This was D's first figure show!!

AND . . her baby was just turning one year old !

The hotel we stayed at had a big container of individually wrapped fudgeos at the check in desk. I grabbed a couple packages cuz I knew I was gonna want those later. Fudgeos dipped in Kahlua OMG sooo GOOD!!

MMmmmmmm !

We went to Boston Pizza for our celebration dinner. WE took our trophies with us OH YA!! I had a huge berry smoothie and chugged probably 2L of water!! LOL! The waitress brought us a jug after we did 2 refills in quick succession.

I ordered southwest potato skins and natchos. I could only eat 2 potato skins and basically only ate the natchos that had the cheese on them.

The waitress was a bit concerned for us and asked if we were gonna need a barf bucket for the end of our table LOL! Both our husbands had to tell us to slow down, be careful !

Rum and coke ! The taste of victory!

Ok, that was a short and sweet re-cap :P Now D and I are both qualified for the Provincial Championships. We had the option to go this summer or next summer. We both want to take a year and really hit the gym hard and bring our best!! We are very excited we get to train for provincials together !

Next July . . . a whole YEAR until our next comp !!

Fast Forward

2010-08-04T09:09:00.000-07:00

I need to hurry up and get all caught up with the updates so I can post new stuff LOL!

So I was preparing for my 3rd competition in June. I had never done a photo shoot before a competition before. Either I did not know who to ask, or did not have the money, or I just didn't feel ready.

This time I got an opportunity I could just not pass up!! A wonderful photographer, an unbeatable price, and a great friend to shoot with me !

Cristobery Bustamante - Progressive Edge Photography.

I had an awesome time. I even got to do some lingerie pics for the hubby !! Always wanted to do that.

You can see most of the gym pics I did in the slide show to your right.*

DISCLAIMER:
*None of those photos have had ANY photoshopping or special lighting. They were taken under fluorescent lights at the gym. They are just the raw images before any real touch ups.

Where's The Cake ?!

2010-07-27T09:52:00.000-07:00

Back in May I was traveling to Edmonton once again, for a friends surprise 10 yr anniversary party.I was the cake maker, and party decorator :) very fun.
The kids were also having a party of their own so I made a special cake for them as well.

These 2 cakes were some of the best reactions to my cakes so far. People didn't know they were cakes!! LOL!

When my all cake - no ice cream - ice cream cake showed up at the kids party the host wanted to put it in the freezer !

The "ice cream" was vanilla cake with rainbow bits in the batter.

The "bowl" was chocolate cake with Oreo cream filling

Even the cherry on top was made of marshmallow fondant

Now, the Anniversary cake. This couple has been drooling over my cakes on my facebook for quite some time and always made comments like " I want to create a special even the next time you come to Edmonton just so I can have one of your cakes " So this was going to be a great surprise to give them!

Once again no one could tell it was a cake, even when they were standing right beside it!! When the couple showed up they were elated to know I had made them a cake! I told them they could eat their cake if they could find it, they looked ALL OVER and then stood right beside it all distressed they couldn't find their cake LOL!

Hershey's Best Chocolate Cake with Kahlua Fudge filling

The whole thing is cake and fondant. The flowers on top are fresh flowers, and there is a saucer supporting the top layer of the urn, other than that entire urn and the handles are edible.

The best part of the evening is chatting with the couple and they ask

" So, why are you here"

I am kinda confused by the question

" I mean what brings you to Edmonton? (it is a 7 hour drive) You must have happened to be here for some reason?"

I reply " I came to bring you a cake! YOU are the reason I am here!"

They couldn't believe I would drive 7 hours just for them, LOL! They thought I must have had some other business in Edmonton or been visiting family.

They were confused tho because I was just down for PHAT Camp 3 weeks before. Then I drove down for their party, then my Brother In Law was getting married in another 3 weeks, meaning ANOTHER trip, and then July long weekend I had to drive down again with an Elderly deaf friend to accompany her to a convention. ALOT of trips to Edmonton this Spring/Summer!!

Bridal Shower Cake

2010-07-21T11:11:00.001-07:00

So as I was heading to Edmonton for Phat Camp I was delivering a cake for a family bridal shower here are the pics to update that:

Banana Cake with chocolate and caramel layers,

covered in white chocolate cream cheese frosting and marshmallow fondant.

Let's Go Back . . Wayyyy Back

2010-07-21T10:36:00.000-07:00

Wholly Smokes! I suck at this blog thingy when I get busy!

First Update:

No, I did not die at PHAT Camp! LOL!

That was like, umm . . over 3 months ago!!

PHAT Camp was awesome! As it is every year. I missed Heather Bear who was not able to travel with Jen and her staff due to her Hubby's work changes and circumstances at home I hope she can join the PHAT Camp tour again soon.

I had some great compliments at PHAT Camp that made me feel so much better about competing and my conditioning at that point. Allison Black Stirling (google her !) really noticed more width in my back, huge compliment that she noticed!!

Other girls were commenting on my arms and noticed more size from previous years, and the new girls just loved my arms LOL! I felt kinda like a celebrity I love the positive reinforcement of PHAT Camp . . . Don't worry I handed out my fair share of compliments to others LOL . .It was not all about me :P

But at that point I felt behind in my training and conditioning and those compliments really stuck out in my mind.

Had a great ~~cheat~~ re-feed meal with D at Red Lobster. It was HILARIOUS 4 girls, all wearing their new PHAT Camp shirts, standing in line waiting to get in at Red Lobster, we all need to pee like REALLY bad cuz we drank lotsa water. We all go to the bathroom and groan in unison as we sit down . .OUR ACHING QUADS OMG! Then we all laugh at each other in unison. Then waddle out to our table and all groan again as we sit.

Then D and I drool over the menu, and can't decide between rice or potato, shrimp , lobster, or steak etc. So we orchestrate our meal to get it ALL. I get steak and lobster she get shrimp and lobster, I get rice she gets potato it was awesome!

We ooooo-ed and awwwww-ed over every bite it was so good. we were seriously crazy people. Our friends were joking we were gonna end up on YouTube LOL!

Oh! the hideous pictures that got taken:

what is up with my FACE!??!! D is no better she is rolling her eyes LOL!

Made them take another picture . . . I sucked in my neck this time LOL!

Updates to be continued . . .

T -60 minutes

2010-04-22T13:42:00.000-07:00

PHAT Camp here I come!!

Wohoooo! all packed

. . don't leave for an hour. . .

. . . . now what,

practice pop squats ?

LOL wish I was all tech-na-ma-logically advanced enuf to blog/journal while I am away . . maybe the hotel will have internet in the lobby

Yeah, Real Cool . . .

2010-04-19T15:15:00.000-07:00

My Ipod shuffle died at the gym today, but I kept it in my ears so I wouldn't be bothered. :P I had one of the regular guys ask me if I was done with the squat rack, except he didn't talk, he just mouthed the words LOL! I guess people are gettin' used to me blaring my music in my ears and being all focused and not chit chatty :)

What was not very cool was hitting my head on the olympic bar that was racked on the cage beside me as I was trying to unload my 45lb plates from my deadlift bar. Totally clanged the bar with my head LOL! Then I get this sickening trickle feeling going down the side of my head. I bee-line for the change room to examine my head. All good, musta been sweat LOL!

Tony was very happy with my progress pics I sent him. we are switching up my diet and I am EXCITED!! We are so in sync cuz he is doin' exactly what I was thinkin' ! How cool is that?!

PHAT Camp this weekend WOOP! WOOP!
We will be leaving Thurs and spending the night at my mother-in-laws, where I will be delivering a bridal shower cake.

Rockin' Out!!

2010-04-18T10:38:00.000-07:00

Man I am so pumped today !

I feel great and I am totally rockin' out in my head!!

This lyric keeps scrrrrrreaming in my head, I am surprised my brain doesn't have whiplash LOL!

♪♫ GIVE ME FUEL! GIVE ME FIRE! GIVE ME THAT WHICH I DESIRE! . . OOoh! . . .ShhhhhA! ♪♫

Absolutely gonna put some more metallica on my Ipod Shuffle!!

oohh yea ha !

♪♫ GIVE ME FUEL! GIVE ME FIRE! GIVE ME THAT WHICH I DESIRE! . . OOoh! . . .ShhhhhA! ♪♫

*insert freaky crazy ass air guitar*

♪♫ GIVE ME FUEL! GIVE ME FIRE! GIVE ME THAT WHICH I DESIRE! . . OOoh! . . .ShhhhhA! ♪♫

ok, maybe I should lay off the coffee

PR's !!

2010-04-16T09:22:00.001-07:00

I have hit many Personal Records this week!!
INCLUDING how freakin' sore I am GAW!

My stiff leg deadlifts got to 155lbs!

I squatted 195 lbs!

I did narrow grip cable rows with 110lbs!

. . and now I can barely lift my own body :P

I think I also hit a new PR in peeing LOL!
I was peeing like crazzzzy yesterday 3 times during ONE workout alone!

I am visualizing all this turning into a new PR in stage performance ;)

Why is that??

2010-04-13T09:11:00.000-07:00

So , the other night right after I finished my downward dog post and told my hubby I blogged about it, and he is like " NO! you didn't!!" and I laughed my a$$ off. I proceeded to spill half of my giant mug of peppermint tea ALL OVER my key board and then my lap. Thank God it wasn't really hot.

I was surprised to see that my keyboard was still working, and decided it would be funny to post this as my FB status :

" Oh Crap! Just spilled a mug of tea all over my keyboard! GAH! . . oh . .wait . .I guess it still works . . yay!"

But then yesterday I realise that none of the top keys are working!! I have no emotions!! I can't do this : !! or this: :) or :( or :P or :D or especially this: @#$%$^&%&*%&$^& !!! but I could do this ???

so for a few hour I would just type in exclamations and it was kinda funny.

then:

thespacebarstoppedworking

then I couldn't backspace anymore, or use the Enter button, and then the number pad on the side started to malfunction, it started with the #2 so I couldn't log into my hotmail anymore, GASP! yes! my hotmail password contains the number 2 LOL!

So all day I am reading blogs, and FB status' and I can't COMMENT!

and then what do I really feel like doing??!! . . BLOGGING! I am constantly thinking of all this crazy funny stuff, but I can't type it out.

Hubby finally brings a spare keyboard home form work, and I CAN TYPE AGAIN!!

. . and I can't think of anything to say.

No , YOU Google it !

2010-04-11T22:06:00.000-07:00

LMAO!! I just gotta share.

First of all the background.

My shins are freakin' killing me! Dang shin splints!! Hammers hitting my shins, have ya'll ever missed with your hammer and hit your shins?! I have - it hurts! Just like my shin splints. I actually missed with my hammer last year and fractured a small bone in the back of my hand. But, in my defense it was a very tight space and I was trying to hit a chisel. Anyway, off topic . . yes, my shin splints = OUCH! and FRUSTRATION over not being able to run. Must Remedy.

After posing practice yesterday a friend reminded me to stretch my calves. She suggested the downward dog. Oh! Yes! Great relaxing wonderful idea !!

So, I m watching TV with the hubby, just chillaxin', kids are in bed. Oh Yeah, let's stretch the calves, Downward dog!

I assume the position in front of my hubby but slightly off to the side of the TV.

What do ya'll think happened next . . Yup, hubby is there in 2 seconds flat to "help" LOL! He just can't help himself. It is kinda a running joke between us anytime I bend over he always seems to show up just to give a friendly bump of his groin on my a$$. LOL!

He says " looks good, what are ya doin' ?!?? "

I said stretching my calves. It is called the downward dog.

He LAUGHS, "are you SERIOUS!??! You are not serious?!"

" I am serious, go Google it"

" No , you Google it! I am not gonna Google it I don't wanna be responsible for what comes up"

Well, make sure you put "Yoga" in there cuz ya never know LOL!

But this is what I got to show him:

Hmmm .. . maybe it was one of those "you gotta be there" things. But, his reaction, laughter and disbelief was hilarious!

Good Mirror Day

2010-04-10T11:49:00.000-07:00

Well, I am 9 weeks out right now. I went back in my journal to try and see how I was doing at this point last year in my com prep.

This time last year I was puking my guts out with the flu! Then a week later I had my hand in a cast for almost 2 weeks ! I was further ahead stats wise, but then had set backs.

So I guess no use in comparing these 2 years cuz the circumstances are soooo different at this point. We'll see how the comparisons go a little later on.

I was feeling pretty tight tummy and trim this morning, didn't step on the scale. Figured today would be a listen to the mirror day.

So I guess anything is possible with this comp prep. There is still definitely a chance I can improve on last year. There is still time, and there is definitely enuf willpower! Heck, I haven't even got my PHAT camp boost yet!! LOL!

2 weeks!!

then I will still have 7 kick ass weeks after PHAT Camp!!

Following Directions

2010-04-05T10:06:00.000-07:00

Ahhh yesss. . . directions. We hire trainers to tell us what to do. At some point we all don't follow directions.

I have been doing EVERYTHING exactly as Tony was telling me. But I was super zealous and he said I was doing too much cardio. ARG! Stop doing so much CARDIO?!! that is a hard thing to listen to, it would have been easier for him to say no more oatmeal in the morning seriously!

And my period started on the Sunday I was going to weigh in. Tony and I talked and he said don't get on the scale 'til 2 or 3 days AFTER your cycle is FINISHED . I stepped on the scale yesterday my weight said 136.7 . .looked like I had basically lost nothing in the last 2 weeks . . .

I posted in my journal at M&F Hers :

"In the last 2 weeks I have only lost 0.7lbs . . so basically nothing . . cuz that is just a minor body fluctuation. I have yet to take my jeans progress pics, they may fit a bit better, cuz weight is not everything all the time. I am stressed about being stressed and not losing weight and then sitting around not exercising has me stressed that I am not doing anything to fix my problem, but that is the problem I am stressed and need to take a break from being stressed. .. it is not only stress it is emotional anguish I guess.. I have been having a lot of dreams, and flash backs to that last day in the hospital . . and then the body in the funeral home. . so far beyond anything I have ever experienced in my life . Many emotional stages to go thru and the family feud and unsettled estate and bills piling up is not helping at all. "

I stepped on the scale today, which if I had listened to Tony I would have avoided it until now . . 134.5 !! The scale DID move!! yay! So I have lost 8lbs in the past 4 weeks! Things WILL work if you follow directions. We pay them to think for us, I must remember that.

I Really Want It !

2010-04-03T17:12:00.000-07:00

Saw a GREAT QUOTE on a magnet today. I am too ~~cheap~~ broke buy it so I just wrote it down on my hand so I could post it all over the house when I got home. :P

" If it wasn't for the obstacles,

we'd never know if we really wanted something

or just thought we did "

~ Unknown

So, I a eating more chick chick chicken and brrrrawwkoli.

Weighing in tomorrow . . . weee bit nervous . . and a tad bit excited . . . :)

Pre-Chewed Chicken

2010-03-29T15:25:00.000-07:00

No, not the fake pressed chicken. I am talkin' real chicken. You know, the dry azz chicken that we all choke down.

Well, I think I have had a chicken epiphany!

I love my mini food chopper, I paid $10 for it at Walmart, it is actually my second one. My first one died after I was using it to grind raw chicken LOL! And if this one dies after 2 years I will go buy another one for $10 !!

My new found use for this beautiful little machine is actually for grinding up my COOKED chicken. I boil my chicken breast in a pot of water and have 'em in the fridge ready to go at all times. But you get sick and tired of chewin' those suckers, and the chicken in your teeth, and chewing and chewing and wondering what the heck happened to all your saliva hellooooo saliva glands work work work work.

But look at this:

THAT is cooked chicken chopped up so tiny it is finer than rice!! I boil it, then cut it into cubes that fit into the food processor, then chop those suckers up real fine. It takes no effort to chew, and is really moist with steamed broccoli!! It is like, PRE-CHEWED! LOL! I love tossing that in a bowl with some broccoli, some Mrs.Dash and a bit of vinaigrette dressing, YUM! My new favorite food item, and it goes down great. Gonna be eatin' a lot of that the next 11 weeks!

KaPloosh!

2010-03-28T09:37:00.000-07:00

That is the sound of 5lbs

of PMS water weight

hitting my butt and belly !

So, much for my Sunday weigh in. Tony wants a phone call this week . . wonder how many times he has heard " I was making progress, I am doing everything you said, but I just got my period" GAH! frustrating!!

Oh and I am meeting 4 other figure gals today to do posing practice, Swimsuits? NOOOoooo no no no no nooo , uh yea, we all agreed before hand that this is just a walk thru and we will ALL be wearing tank tops and shorts LOL!

But if this doesn't end up being the first day of my period it sure as heck feels like it. How many times have the other girls heard " am I a little poofy today cuz I have my period" GAW! So sick of saying that!!

I had my period when I was on stage for my last competition, really!

I really need to get my weight under 130!! I want it there by next Sunday come hell or high water . . just not PMS water . .

Breaking Down Walls

2010-03-26T09:01:00.000-07:00

I DID IT! I made it thru yesterday! Yesterday was one of those days where you have the defining moment of hitting the wall or breaking thru.

I have come to learn that those days when you hit the wall are the days when you have the potential to make the most progress, when you reach that next level of lean.

You can hit the wall, and give in and cheat, or eat a little off plan, just a few more carbs etc. which means you bounce back and then just hit that wall again, kinda like a furious little bumble bee hitting a sunny window.

bzzt! bzzt! bzzt! LOL!

OR , you can stay the course, push thru , dig deep into physical and mental energy and break thru!! Step out on the other side and reach new levels!

I stayed the course! I DID do my weights and I DID do my 40 min of cardio after and I DID do another 45 min of cardio while watching Grey's Anatomy . . . . . . . which was probably not the most healthy episode for me to watch.

When Dr.Hunt was explaining what death would look like to the Husband who was dealing with a terminally ill wife who wanted to commit Dr. assisted suicide . . he said there will be a moment when their face will relax and be calm and all their pain will be gone and for a brief moment you will feel relief, and you will know you made the right decision . .

OMG! that took me back to Jan . .watching my husband struggle with the decision to take his father off life support and me supporting him thru that. The final moments before Bernie died, his last breath a single tear slid down his cheek. That tear haunts me . . was he crying because we gave up??

Or was it a tear of contented joy, having all his estranged children with him, that they made peace with their alcoholic Father and were there by his bedside and he was regretting all the time he missed because of his choices and he could now feel the love and he was not dying alone . .. I prefer to think that . . but it was explained so well, the face and the body relaxing and you feel relief and feel you made the right decision . . for a brief moment . .then there is the turmoil of emotions after that . ..

I was kinda a bawling emotional wreck after that episode. But, *inhaaale, exhaaaale* deep breathe . . I am going to be ok. It is day 30 of my cycle so I would say I am a wee bit more emotional right now too.

Here is to another great day , focusing on the positive, being thankful for all the good in my life and breaking down walls!!

Cement Shoes

2010-03-25T10:26:00.000-07:00

Gaw! I am tired today!!

My legs are dead, my feet feel soooOoooo heavy!

I was awake at 6:40am to do cardio . . delayed in bed too long . . . 7:15 I am finally downstairs to do my cardio . . . I am gonna be late getting the kids ready for school , "that's ok" I rationalize, "I will drive them today" . . . 5min in to my cardio I say ' "F" that stupid stepper I can NOT do this today' !!

I'll figure something else out. I still have a chest workout to do today and I will do some extra carido after that. Just maybe today won't be a DOUBLE cardio day . .

. . . who knows maybe while I watch Grey's Anatomy or Private Practice I can be distracted enuf to do a second session . Ya . That's probably what I will do.

Don't wanna be a quitter !

oh, just decided that if I make it thru my workout and my cardio I am gonna reward myself with a can of spray tan!!

My First Official Weigh In

2010-03-21T11:20:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday I weighed 142.5lb this morning I weighed . . .

. . . . drumroll . . . . . . .

(I love Animal!)

137.5lbs !!

I LOST 5LBS THIS WEEK

That is like Biggest Loser Awesome!

I sure musta been retaining a lot of water. Cuz, I seriously have been peeing like CRrrrraZY! like ridiculous amounts! But, drinking a gallon (4L) of water will do that I guess.

Today is my rest day and I actually got to sleep in 'til 8:30!! I am going to enjoy my day off, cuz It is back at'er tomorrow 6:40 am cardio! I would love to lose another 5lbs next week!

But, whatever the number may be I am gonna give it 100%!

Basic Update Stuff

2010-03-18T09:54:00.001-07:00

I am feelin' top of the world today!!

Got up and did my morning cardio, yay! everyday this week so far! I have to say I am in a definite routine now and won't be missing any. It will be getting brighter and brighter and easier to get up everytime. Tho, I am looking forward to Sunday and getting to stay in bed past 6:40am!!

And sunday will be a weigh in day, getting excited about that!! Seriously feelin' good.

I switched my morning coffee for a mint green tea with a tad bit of splenda and almond milk. YUM! I am enjoying sipping on that so much more than my coffee lately.

I have been eating GREAT! I have some fish and chicken thawing out as I type. I will be doing some bulk cooking today. Loving my veggie fish cakes!! I will be eating a lot of those. I eat pretty much the same thing everyday, so no point in really posting what I eat. Besides my oatmeal and eggs for breakfast it is pretty much chicken and veggies, or fish cakes and veggies, maybe the odd avocado in there. Veggie of choice right now is asparagus.

I will be doing my first ab CRIT workout today, looking forward to the challenge.

Workings of My Brain

2010-03-17T09:15:00.000-07:00

So, Sunday night I weighed 142.5 OMGAwsh I KNOW!! I had just got my Tony info that afternoon. I took my pics Monday morning.

It is kinda hard to weigh myself first thing in the morn when I am chugging coffee and dragging my butt down stairs. SO, just for torture sakes I got the urge to weigh myself in the afternoon yesterday, I was wearing a shirt, my husbands baggy hoodie, pants, and I had eaten and drank at least 2L of water, and I weighed 141lb!!

soooo by Sunday ,my complete rest day, I will be able to do a proper morning weigh in. ya know the drill as soon as I waked up, before breakfast and after empty bladder LOL! It should be a pretty good weigh in :) we'll see . . .

I will post pics along the way. I just don't really feel like posting my before pictures until I can post them with a new and improved progress shot . . . kinda like the principle of not having anything nice to say, so not saying anything LOL!

Got my flax seed oil like Mr. Trainer said. Put 1T in my oatmeal like Mr.Trainer said. 1st couple bites, took me some gettin used to . . but I think I can manage it. I just loved my oatmeal the way it was *pout* but honestly I think I won't even know it is there next time, and with the amount of carbs I get in a day I will be lookin' forward to that oatmeal no matter what !! Do whatcha gotta do!

I set my alarm for 5min earlier this morning 6:40am. I needed to make sure I got a full 45 min of cardio done and still have enuf time to squeak the kids out the door and onto the bus. Did it just BARELY . . let's just say they got their morning cardio in too LOL!

One thing I am thankful for is that my morning coffee can stay as is right now YAY! He even said I could use a little bit of half and half, but no thanks! I'll use the almond milk, good enuf for me!!

I have to say, as this progresses one of my major struggles as I get in shape is this: I start to fit all my cute jeans, no fat rolls, I feel pretty good in a swim suit, muscle are pretty darn obvious especially at the gym. I start to like the way I look, at that point and I get tired and think WHY?!! WHY?!!? do I need to torture myself and get on stage, just be happy with whatcha got right now.

BUT

I know that if I quit I will be mad that I didn't follow thru. and I feel like crying cuz it is so hard and I just wanna eat foooood! and this is so harrrrd. It takes a lot of mental focus to keep my head in the game and imagine the moments of sheer joy and success that I do this for.

But when my head gets like that I think well, if I just have a couple cookies right now, I can just absorb it (or whatever) and burn it off, my body needs it , it will help me regain my focus and carry on blah blah blah. But, THOSE are the little sabotages that prevent me from excelling, and really being my best!!

I want to win that struggle this time!!

So much of this is about personal victory for me. It has to be, cuz even if I give my all, my heart and soul, and look my best darn ever and know I did my 100% best I may not be what the judges are looking for that day. I would love a top 3 placing, but I have to remember the personal victories and have no regrets . .

. . . but I will still work my a$$ off with 1st place in my sights!

ME TOO! ME TOO!

2010-03-15T16:53:00.000-07:00

I have decided I need a trainer. I need a coach. I need HELP! I need a rock to cling to and not let me waiver, a lighthouse in my storm yadda yadda :P

I was freaking out inside, feeling like I don't have enuf time, second guessing every choice I make, even tho I KNOW this stuff, I need an impartial voice of reason OUTSIDE my head. Oh, and accountability I need that too.

I have read so many positive things about Tony at DreamBodies in Tina's Blog and April's blog (hey notice that I learned how to do links properly?! yay me! ) And Stacey was working with Tony before as well.

I have SIGNED UP TOO! I will be working with Tony for my contest prep! So EXCITED! and he is much more affordable than other trainers I have had the opportunity to work with, and I think I will actually get MORE . I like the sounds of how he tackles the mental as much as the physical. Such an important factor!!

I don't have my full program yet, cuz I basically emailed on Saturday, screamed for help and said I wanna start Monday Pleeeeease! I have my diet plan, workouts will be coming. I was still so excited that I actually got my butt outta bed for pre breakfast cardio!!

GASP!

I KNOW!!

. . . wanna know how I did it?!??

Before I went to bed I put half a mug of cold coffee on my nightstand, and a little bowl with my 1/4 scoop of protein and glutamine, and a little spoon to stir.

6:45 alarm goes off, I mix and chug coffee/protein (at this point hubby rolls over and grunts something about whatheckareyadoin ..meh.. rolls back over, assuming I am doing crazy fitness stuff again best not to ask!)

I hit snooze, 3-5 min later I was ready!! I am gonna do that again tonight. Preparation is vital to success!

and now . . . Let's Do It For Real

2010-03-10T09:27:00.000-08:00

So, back in December I was all excited about benching 135. But, that was on the smith machine. te he he he . . did I not mention that ?! . . oh . .

Well, as we all know that definitely does not translate into the free bar. So, I am off to conquer that next. Grrr!

Yesterday I managed 3 sets of 7-10 reps with 85lbs. I didn't have a spotter so I had to be carfeul. This will have to be slow, steady and safe progress.

I was surprised by my control and abiltity, so next week I will take a deep breath and put the 25lb plates on that bar for a total of 95lbs!

I remember a couple years ago when I thought I was the shizzle for benching 95lbs with the smith machine LOL!

Mini Meatloaf

2010-03-09T15:04:00.000-08:00

(a quick shout out to my Tim Hortons homegirl! )

This is a great recipe to make at the beginning of the week and have a quick yummy source of protein to pack for your lunch. It tastes good cold too . . but then again I will eat just about anything cold when I am doing comp prep :P

Turkey OR Chicken Meatloaf
8 servings

2 lbs ground fat free chicken or turkey breast
1 cup chopped onions
4 egg whites
1 cup chunky salsa
1/2 cup uncooked oatmeal OR brown rice
1T low sodium Worcestershire sauce
pepper
garlic powder

Pre heat oven to 350F

Use hands and mix everything in a bowl

Place Mixture in loaf pan, cover and bake for 1 hr

Now, what I like to do with this recipe is make mini meatloaves that I know are all equal and portioned for me.

so I will take 4-6 oz of the ground meat
add in 1/4 - 1/2 cups of browns rice or oatmeal
1-2 egg whites
2T - 1/4 cup salsa
ms dash of any variety that you like

make several individual recipes like that, I have all the stuff out already, I just gotta mix it again.

stuff the portions into mini loaf pans or muffin tins. These take less time to cook than a big meatloaf. 30 - 40 min maybe, when they are firm to the touch they are done.

I Have Decided . . . I Think

2010-03-09T08:54:00.000-08:00

I was chatting with friends the other day, and looking at FB pictures of last years comp season, and looking at the pics for the up coming comp season. I have a friend prepping for a show in May. Two others, who are a couple , both qualified for provincials in July, so they are prepping together . . . I think that is awesome! . . . could be interesting in their house tho LOL!

I know for sure I am going to PHAT Camp. I just sold a couple one peice suits on Diva Exchange for a heck of a deal $150ea !! But now I have $300 to go to Edmonton with, that should cover my portion of the hotel and gas. I am packing all my own food. So, I may even have some money to get some new workout clothes or something while I am there!! YAY!

My goal for PHAT Camp in 7 weeks is to be rockin' my cute lil' jeans as I call them :P

But, then I got lookin' at the calendar . . and thinkin' . . . and lookin' at pics like I said. The NC is just under 14 weeks away. I thought I had wasted wayyyy too much time. But last year during my comp prep I was sick for 2 weeks, and then I injured my left hand and it was in a cast. I had written off competing and I stuffed my face for a few weeks. Then at 6 weeks out I had recovered and was in the gym again and I tightened up the diet and added more cardio and I whipped my butt in shape enough to hit the stage and have my best package ever.

SOOoooo . . if I commit right now, stay the course, don't waiver I CAN DO THIS! And my hubby knows that I will only do it if I know I can better my performance from last year. He said "don't do it if you are not going to do it better", which is his loving supportive kick in the @ss

I have one good week in already. I lost 3lbs last week!

Usually when I commit I just suck it up and pay my BCABBA competitive membership and my contest entry fee . . . .

The only thing that could derail my plans would be bad news about my hubbys job, which has been delayed for another 2-3 torturous weeks!! But, it looks more and more like he is not going to be the one laid off. But ya never know.

So I have decided 100% in my heart . . . not so much financially.

Sunny Saturday!

2010-03-06T22:00:00.000-08:00

I am feelin' great today! The sun is shining and I am happy.

I did my 45 min of cardio today! YAY!

I also ate according to plan today!

Taught the kids to play monopoly. They wanted to learn, I haven't played that game in YEEARRRS! I promised we would bring it out when they were on spring break. Today is day 1 of Spring Break, so we played monopoly . . ahh yesss . . so many life lessons learned while playing Monopoly.

I just made a quick late night trip to the grocery store cuz I was out of coffee, and I am NOT goin' to the store in the morning to get it. I made a new fresh ground bag of goodness: double chocolate fudge , hazelnut cream, espresso beans all ground up creating a heavenly aroma that filled the car as I drove home. I thought " I can't wait to go to bed so I can get up and have some coffee"

Foundation!

2010-03-05T09:55:00.000-08:00

I will be speaking about many different kinds of foundations today . . cuz wholly hell my face looks like leprosy!! I don't need foundation, I need spackle!! no skip that a paper bag!!

. . . . or maybe two . .

But what actually got me thinking about foundations was the "END RESULT" motivational quote in the Mar/Apr issue of M&F Hers:

" Accentuating your strengths, downplaying your weaknesses - this is the art of a professional competitor. It's also the art of being a woman."

~ Meriza DeGuzman

So this week I have lost 3lbs!! My goal for the year was to NEVER AGAIN get over 130lbs. - 7.5 more lbs and I will be 130lb Yay!

I also wanted to lose at least 10lbs before PHAT Camp April 24th. - again 7.5 more lbs and I will be 130lb Yay! I am pushing for more, but I want at least 10lbs gone!

But, my BF% is still rated cheese ass, and pics are not flattering.

But, I need to be positive so I continue to move forward. This is the point where most women want to give up cuz they have worked SO HARD all week and done everything right but they don't see *poof* instant results. BUT I DID GET RESULTS, and if I build on these results I will get to where I want to be. This is the foundation.

You know when you are building your dream home and you can't wait to paint it pretty colours and accessorise with pretty furniture. But you are standing beside a pile of mud and cement that looks nothing like a house. That's where I am with my body.

I am building my foundation. The next 3lbs will be even better, and that provides the basis for an even better next 3lbs. It will come. I need to focus on what I did right, bask in my achievements for the week, and build on that.

. . if you build it they will come . . LOL! just popped into my head, not sure who is gonna come . . or if I wanna go any further with that euphemism cuz It is probably headed to the gutter LOL!

Roadblocks and Milestones

2010-03-03T10:54:00.000-08:00

Well, from the moment I woke up I knew it was gonna be one of those days that are a challenge to get thru and keep on track.

Tired, groggy, headache, super hungry, lacking motivation, not wanting to go to the gym, which could lead to negative self pity and wanting to quit and then justifying a nasty eating day.

It is one of those days where you really need to focus and make a conscious effort to change your attitude and be positive. I had told myself that I was not feeling like going to the gym to do legs today. I'll just stay home and do cardio. I will do legs tomorrow.

Then I thought NO! get your a$$ outta the house and feel the victory in MAKING yourself do it. Do not sink into that funk!

School phones . . daughter is sick.

I knew when I woke up that it was gonna be one of those days.

I can still do cardio at home. I am still going to try to conquer this day. I will have to train legs this evening. I am gonna look at videos online for something to excite me a get me revved up to try.

Eating will be a battle of will today. It will be so easy to sit down and make a meal of 4 slices of toast and jam and a bowl of cheerios (yes, I have done that)

A bonus in my corner today: THE SUN IS SHINING !! my solar batteries are being charged as we speak.

I have 2 d@mn good days , perfect days, invested into my "new" resolve, not gonna go back now. There is always that wall that can be a barrier, a stopping point, OR it can become milestone that you overcome.

I wanna get over that hump . .. oh waddya know it IS hump day!

something that DID made me laugh today :

LOL! I am off to go put that as my facebook picture!!

Cuppycake

2010-03-02T12:54:00.000-08:00

I got a wonderful surprise today while I was doing my cardio. I got a phone call from my 3 year old niece!! She is absolutely precious and jam packed with so much diva-tude and smarts that she can't help but make ya laugh, even when she is bein' bad LOL!

Her favorite reason why, for just about anything " because I am Cassidy"

We chatted for about 15 minutes. She had been listening to a music CD I had made for her, then she says to her mom " I love Aunty Sylvia, can I phone her?"

AWWwwwwww . . . .I just LOVE the little munchkin!! This was one of the songs I put on her CD that she loves :)

Here is my little diva wearing a tulle tutu, training panties, fairy wings, rain boots and her hair all did in a trial run for my sisters wedding last Aug this just says is all . . .

Spring Camping!

2010-03-01T09:35:00.001-08:00

It is MARCH! I am thinking spring! I am also thinkin' . . .

8 weeks 'til PHAT Camp Edmonton!

This will be my third year doing camp. I love it and look forward to it so much! I wish I earned commission for every girl that I signed up for camp LOL! So many girls in fitness forums and many personal friends have given it a try and LOVE it!

Not only are Jen and her staff absolutely wonderful people, the women you meet at camp will inspire you. There are so many stories and laughs and tears and hugs! It is so much more than pushing yourself to another level physically, you reach another level mentally! I can't say enuf good stuff about PHAT Camp. My first experience at camp and meeting Jen was a major mental shift in my life.

8 weeks! BRING IT! New month, new week, new day, new ME! No more excuses, no more complaining, no more putting it off, less whining MORE TRAINING! I know I can do this!!

Now? . . How 'bout . . now! . . . Now?

2010-02-27T21:33:00.001-08:00

Oh dear lord! I am not having a good time trying to find things to wear these days. I am trying to tell myself that it is just the menstrual bloating. But my FAT clothes are tight! Yes, I tried on my biggest skirt the other day and I felt like I was squished in a sausage casing!!! blech!

I am drinking my last Kaluaha and milk and then I am gonna definitely start tomorrow! . I mean Monday?

SOON!

oh yeah! Look what else I saw at the liquor store tonight . . . not sure if this is ironic or more prophetic? LOL! . . . *sigh*

Had A Moment . . Went For It

2010-02-25T11:22:00.000-08:00

Ya. .I was havin' a moment yesterday.

During my workout I started feeling better, and decided to just walk into "Great Cuts" and go for the chop!!

I love it!! Never had hair this short before ever. I had shorter hair 15 years ago as a teen, but it was more chin length bob. This is gonna be fun!

BEFORE

(on better hair days)

AFTER

( looking at this made me realise I didn't look as bad as I felt

but I also did put a lot of concealer on before I took the pic.)

Shed some hair, now let's shed some lbs . . . I am ready for a spring cleaning ;)

FUGLY!

2010-02-24T09:30:00.000-08:00

I am having an ugly day. I feel f'n ugly or simply put fugly!

I am waiting for aunt flo to arrive and I am so painfully bloated and poofy, all my clothes feel gross.

I am having a nasty PMS acne breakout.

My grey roots are showing - I am ONLY 30, but I have been dying my hair since I was ohh hmmmm . . . 24 at least! I am getting close to bein' 1/3 gray - so not fair. :P

My hair needs a major whacking. It is frizzy and frazzled at the ends. Complemented by the short frizzy grays that wanna shoot straight up on the top of my head.

I can't just throw my hair into a bun or pony tail cuz my neck is polka dotted with acne welts. WELTS I tell ya!

I would love to go get my hair done to make me feel better but, again, the acne on my neck has me hiding.

I could just throw a box dye in it to cover my gray, but I think I would be too tempted to start whacking at it myself with scissors in a hormonal PMS frenzy . . not good. I will refrain 'til calmer heads prevail.

So what am I gonna do?

I am gonna go find a baggy t-shirt and my nicest pair of black slimming yoga pants and go to the gym and sweat my a$$ off and train legs, cuz at least then I will have a darn good excuse for looking fugly.

. . . and I may even feel better after LOL!

My Trip to the "Moon"

2010-02-23T09:16:00.000-08:00

It is amazing and frustrating all at the same time how quickly thoughts and emotions can change and need to be re adjusted.

Yesterday I woke up all determined, fired up, feeling focused. I got my cardio room ready. I set up my TV and DVD player. I was going to watch Olympics. I was meditating on the 4 years of training they put in for their competition, and relating that to 12 weeks prep for a figure competition. But by the time I had the room set up my mind set had changed. I was wishing I would have done that prep before so it was all ready to go for the morning. Cuz now I didn't really have time for cardio and I needed to get to the gym to do my weights and bump my cardio to after my weights.

But, now I was feeling like crap and unfocused and not wanting to go. I was looking at my house and seeing everything that was wrong and untidy and just a huge to-do list.

I had my workout and cardio to do, and then I had an appointment to train my hubby on his lunch. So I was looking at close to 3 hours at the gym. House work was not gonna be a top priority and I was feeling further behind.

I even contemplated calling my hubby and telling him he was on his own cuz I didn't feel like going. But, I sat and thought about it. If I didn't go to the gym I was going to sink into an even deeper depression and self destructive habits that are so contrary to my goals and true inner desires.

I went, didn't break any intensity records but I accomplished my workout and viewed that as a victory.

I in a state of being so sick of where I am , how far I have slipped. I am reminiscing about days of smaller jeans, and tighter abs, and defined shoulders, and the elated feeling of accomplishing so much in a day and exercise was a priority and everything else just seemed to fall into place. In one breath it makes me want to sit and mope and eat cake cuz I fell like I am so far away and have no hope, yet in the next breath I know that results will happen soon enough and I just need to remain positive and continue to take one step at a time towards my goal. Keep moving forward, the results will come.

I need to keep the end result in mind, but not so much so that I can't rejoice over the smaller victories along the way. I need to fall in love with the process all over again, and enjoy the smaller steps that lead to the bigger picture.

As despondent and unmotivated I may be at times, my deep inner drive to succeed is there. I DO really want it! I need to keep nurturing that fire. I do visualize and I live in that moment in my head like it is a reality, I need to reconcile my thoughts with my actions. I need to make my affirmations a reality again.

" Everything looks like a failure in the middle.
If you send a rocket to the moon,
about 90% of the time it is off course -
it "fails" its way to the moon
by continually making mistakes and correcting them"

Let's Proceed!

2010-02-21T20:34:00.001-08:00

OK! Wrist- NOT fractured YAY!

Answers as to WHY it hurts sooOOo bad - none. Not good

BUT

Was referred to Physio Therapy across the hall from the doctors office, and I got in RIGHT AWAY, my lucky day.

I had a 1.5 hour therapy session. My FAVORITE part was the "tazer" device (that's what I call it) they hooked up to my wrist and made me all tingly and vibrate, but it was such a gooooood deeeeep massage it was so awesome for pain relief !

umm but the COST did not relieve my pain. $45 ouch! another $40 if I go back this week. But I have a root canal to finish up on March 8th and I gotta portion my money carefully these days.

So I have been using heat, and doing some stretching exercises and battery operated massager on it.

OH! that reminds me of when I was at physio and the PT gave me a ~~vibrator~~, ~~sex toy~~ uhhh let's say "discreet" massager LOL! it was all I could do to not smirk when she handed it to me, it looked so inappropriate! Yes, I am immature. You know you woulda thought the same thing too! LOL!

I was amazing how remarkably better I felt after leaving Physio ! Mostly cuz I was able to open and close my car door and turn the steering wheel effectively without being in pain. Push ups are a little ways off yet.

It continues to feel better after my stretching and massaging and heat etc at home. So I am less scared to use it and do more with it now that I know I am not going to injure it further. Such a relief!

So now I need to proceed with training and stop the last chance syndrome as so eloquently put by Third Wish in her blog
http://third-wish.blogspot.com/

Protein Bars

2010-02-17T09:03:00.000-08:00

So often I get girls asking:

" what is a good protein bar, that you would recommend?"

Honestly, not many. Most are high sugar and are just a protein infused candy bar that are hard to digest and so many ingredients you can't pronounce. If you are in a pinch they are better than a Big Mac, but IMHO they should not be a regular snack item.

UNLESS you make your own. The following recipe is simple 5-7 ingredients and you can pronounce them ALL lol! :P

This is my new favorite recipe for homemade protein bars. I make 2 different versions, a lean version and a post workout version. I adapted this just a bit from a reader submitted recipe in Muscle & Fitness Hers.

What I love about this recipe is that is is low sugar no honey , brown sugar etc.

Homemade Protein Bars - Lean Version
2 Cups Oatmeal
4 Scoops chocolate protein
½ Cup Peanut Butter
2 T Ground Flax Seed
½ Cups water

Mix all ingredients evenly in a bowl until forms a paste.
Press into a 9x9 pan lined with wax paper and level evenly.
Refrigerate.
Cut into 8 equal portions. Keep refrigerated.

NUTRITIONAL INFO
245 Calories per bar
Protein 20.5g
Carbs 17g
Fat 11.25g

Homemade Protein Bars - Post Workout Version
2 Cups Oatmeal
6 Scoops Chocolate Protein
½ Cup Peanut Butter
2 T Ground Flax Seed
½ cup Dried Currants
½ Cup Sliced Almonds
½ - ¾ Cups Water

Mix all ingredients evenly in a bowl until forms a paste add water gradually until desired consistency.
Press into a 9x9 pan lined with wax paper and level evenly.
Refrigerate.
Cut into 8 equal portions. Keep refrigerated.

NUTRITIONAL INFO
333.75 Calories per bar
Protein 28.75g
Carbs 24g
Fat 13.25g

which is which ? ?

On the left: I made yummy oatmeal macaroons cookies for my kids lunches this morning, sugar, butter, milk, coco, oats yummmmyyy my FAVORITE childhood cookie!!

. . . BUT the protein bars on the RIGHT are a much healthier choice and satisfy my craving! :)

Befuddled By Injury

2010-02-15T15:24:00.000-08:00

Well, there certainly seems to be quites a few injuries out there in fitness blogger land!
Alas, I am admitting to joining the ranks.

I have been having issues with my right wrist since late Oct. early Nov. I thought it was just a strain and tried pushing thru the pain expecting to get better as all little aches and pains of training usually do.

It was getting worse. So I invested in a wrist brace to wear when the pain got a bit worse and I felt like I needed some extra stability. But, I only wore it around the house.

But the more I acknowledged my injury and tried to compensate and reduce aggravation it got worse.

Now it hurts to close a car door, knead dough, hold a pen, pickup my puppy . . pretty much everything.

So I got an X-ray last Friday. I see the doc this Friday for the report.

In the meantime I did some Internet research and my self diagnosis hypochondriac guess is a
scaphoid fracture

So at this point I can't pick up a jug of milk anymore let alone any weights at the gym. So I can basically only train legs and do cardio . . . hmmm . .kinda sucks cuz everything my favorite is upper body. . . but everything I neeeed to improve (as in trim down) is lower body.

So, I may just focus on leaning down, finally . Cuz, that may be all I can do . .

But, we'll see. Like I said it is my self diagnosis at this point. regardless it hurts and needs help , meaning rest I guess.

first step is admitting it.

*sigh*

Famous Last Words

2010-02-06T14:00:00.000-08:00

OH! the other day when I was on my stepper doin' cardio one of my all time kick @ss-get my inner mojo goin'- makes me wanna push harder and fight songs came on my ipod shuffle and WOW it really gave me a boost and it has been goin' thru my head ever since.

Once again I put my own meaning into the song.

Famous Last Words
~ My Chemical Romance

Now I know
That I can't make you stay
But where's your heart?
But where's your heart?
But where's your...

(Conversation with myself: feeling like quitting my cardio cuz this sucks! I have the choice to quit, can't force myself to do anything. But where is my heart? THE STAGE! My heart wants to excel! Dig deep into your heart and don't quit! You have the choice to quit, can't force yourself to do anything, but don't quit! )

. . . . .

So many Bright lights, that cast a shadow

. . .

(makes me think of the stage)

A life that's so demanding
I get so weak
A love that's so demanding
I can't speak
I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home

Can you see
My eyes are shining bright
'Cause I'm out here
On the other side
Of a jet black hotel mirror
And I'm so weak
Is it hard understanding
I'm incomplete
A love that's so demanding
I get weak

(I tell myself if it were easy everyone would be doing it. But think of the deep inner satisfaction I get from accomplishing my goals, It a hard life, a demanding love ,but the feeling in the end is worth it. I may be an outcast and different than the majority, but it is an individual sport and I will carry on and do it alone if I have to, nothing anyone says will stop me from achieving )

and the guitar and drums and gritty way he sings is so powerful to me !!!

MMmmmm Soup!

2010-02-04T09:50:00.000-08:00

I found this soup recipe in the Jan/Feb issue of Muscle and Fitness Hers, I decided to post this recipe after I commented on April's blog about rutabegas:
http://redhead75.wordpress.com/2010/02/03/whos-first/

Cuz , when I was shopping for the ingredients for the soup I needed turnip. I couldn't find turnip, but I saw rutabega, thought it WAS a turnip. You know the whole to-MAY-toe , to-MAH-toe thing.

Well guess they are not the same. Anyway, I tried the soup and love it!! I made a HUGE batch.

Now you need to know a few things. I did not follow the portions of the recipe exactly. I was supposed to be making a double batch of the soup, I threw in massive amounts of veggies. I had an entire bag of spinach and even tho the recipe called for a cup, I threw in the ENTIRE bag cuz I love spinach. Most of the other veggies too, I was thinking as I chopped it up, what the point in chopping up half of it, throw the whole thing in.

I made my chicken stock. I like boiling my chicken breasts. It is quick, easy, can't burn'em, and keeps'em moist. What's left in the pot . . chicken stock! Perfect!

Now, the soup. This was a chunky veggie soup, smells WONDERFUL! The magazine also suggests that you can puree the soup. Well, I knew that was gonna look disgusting, and it would make me hesitate to try it. So I ate one bowl in the original yummy chunky veggie form. But I like to know what I am getting in my food and my meals are balanced so I like the idea of pureed soup, everything mixed thoroughly and evenly :P

After you puree it is looks disgusting but tastes YUM! I then have this instant moisture mixture to pour over everything else Like my chicken and rice!! I cut up my 4oz of chicken or whatever, measure out my rice, grab a cup of the soup mix it all together and VOILA! Instant effortless FLAVOURFUL meal! :)

I foresee lots of this soup always being in my fridge, mmm liquid veggies :P

Veggie Soup
(Called Winter Detox Cocktail in the Jan/Feb issue of M&F Hers. Pg 23 )

Makes 4 servings

2T olive oil
3 cloves garlic
1/2C onion
1/2C turnip
1Lg carrot
2C chicken stock
1 Lg zucchini
1C fresh spinach
1/8 tsp cayenne
1/2 tsp turmeric
1 tsp oregano
1 tsp rosemary
1/2 tsp coriander
1/2 tsp cumin

Chop / cube all veggies.

Heat olive oil in large sauce pan over med. heat. Add garlic and onion, and saute 5 min.

Add turnip and carrot and saute another 5 min.

Pour in chicken stock and simmer 10min.

Toss in zucchini simmer 5 more min

Add spinach and spices simmer 5-10 more min

This is what mine looked like after pureed and some chunks of chicken thrown in:

Hmmm . . guess I coulda been a bit more

Martha Stewart with the soup pic.

Don't let the yucky looking picture deter you, it really is yummy . . honest!

Pancakes Too !

2010-02-02T11:39:00.001-08:00

I tried a new Protein Pancake recipe today after reading Tina's Blog : http://reinventingme2.blogspot.com/

I wanted a pure Protein Pancake minimal carbs.

Butter Milk Protein Pancake
(not really)

1 scoop vanilla protein powder
1 egg white
1T of fat free sour cream
water for batter consistency
pinch of baking powder

I cooked up one big pancake, and then I mashed up a whole boiled egg and spread that on top , and then

I guess I'll have to post recipe pics and nutrition info later :P

My Journal at Muscle and Fitness Hers Forums has been quite active lately :P

yeahh. . . usually me not posting means I am up to no good, or I am too busy . . usually more of up to no good tho ;)

then I get determined and focused then I wanna post like 3 times in 5 minutes

so thought I better be fair and share some of the love over here LOL

I Am Ready, Things Clicked

2010-02-01T23:14:00.000-08:00

Today was a GREAT day!

Things just clicked. I had a great eating day, no real cravings.

I trained legs for the first time in weeeeks, and

I

DID

CARDIO

FINALLLY!

40 min this evening after training a client.

I just felt good, and ready to get back into it.

So,

*gulp*

tomorrow I plan on doing' the "official" weigh in and pictures gotta commit and get things started right. not sure IF I will compete, but why wait to get in shape.

IF I do compete, I am now not sure which one I will do

Western Canadians May 22nd

or

The Northern Classic 2 weeks later June 12th

leaning towards June, easier show to get to, my family lives in between here and there, so I wouldn't have to stay in a hotel for as long, it saves me money . . and gives me two more weeks to whip my butt into bling bikini shape

I am disappointed I reverted so far back.... a work in progress, I will master this.
(hey ya never know maybe the pics will not be as bad as I think . . . but I'm not holding my breath, and I am not sure about posting them here :P )

I am determined to be firm about my goal of not letting my weight get over 130 again! My bedtime snack was cottage cheese mixed with splenda and cocoa powder blended up . I enjoyed it!

An Emotional Cake

2010-01-31T09:27:00.000-08:00

Last weekend was the wedding. Marilyns sons wedding. I thought of her often while making the cake.

Before the cake had been cut I had so many people coming up to me and asking if I had made the cake. When I said yes, everyone responded with : " oh, well I am definately having a peice then, cuz your cakes taste so good too!" It was a vanilla cake with layers of white chocolate vanilla pudding, covered in white chocolate buttercream icing, coconut and white chocolate curls. It was so rich and delcious I could only have a small peice. The WHOLE cake was gone, not a crumb left I got many compliments on the cake.

I think it is my favorite cake to date.

One of the last hospital visits with Marilyn we were discussing the cake and she was so excited for the wedding. She was an amazing cook and just loved food and could cook for 2, 20, or 200 in a flash, she had planned the wedding menu.
In some ways all that hospital drama seems like so long ago.

Life and the Lack of

2010-01-16T10:00:00.000-08:00

Well I haven't been around anywhere. There are just some things in life that are much too big to work thru, they cause everything to come to a halt.

a not so brief summary of my like since December:

2 weeks of sick sick family members or me being sick, then off gym hours and holidays. Not to mention my father in law has been here in the hospital since the 20th of December.

It is really bad, my husbands sibling all made an emergency trip here. They have had many grim family meetings to discuss the unspeakable.

His father is only 58 but he is so sick from his many years as an alcoholic. Internal bleeding from ruptured varicoses in his esophagus, bleeding ulcer in his stomach, renal failure, cirrhosis of the liver, pneumonia, he had a quadruple by pas years ago and while undergoing and investigative scope procedure a few days ago he went into cardiac arrest. he has been on a ventilator since. His hemoglobin count is in the mid 40's and SOOooooo many other complications is difficult to even list them all. He is in the ICU.

So, crazy schedule, family stress and emotion I gave in and justified a complete crap out on my eating habits. I have made it to the gym to do a few weight workouts, but no cardio.

My 2 sister in laws will be staying a few more days to monitor their dads condition, it is day by day. My bro in law went home yesterday.

My FIL did have good brain function after the cardiac arrest, he was responsive, he would blink his eyes, move his head follow his sons voice. The even did an EEG and a CT scan that showed healthy brain activity. That only lasted for a 5-6 days

He was very , very weak, and needed the help of a ventilator to regulate his breathing. He didn't have a good protective gag reflex, cough reflex and he was fighting pneumonia and they didn't want fluid trickling into his lungs. He needed to be sedated to keep him calm. Any little bit of stress with his breathing, or anything else and his heart rate went way too high and he had a threat of cardiac arrest.

There were so many things that went wrong that I can't even begin to list them all. The emergency procedures and medications kept him alive but caused so many other complications.

He slowly got weaker and less responsive. We held out hope he would get better. And I don't wish on ANYONE to have to make the decision to take someone off of life support. It was his wishes to not be sustained by life support, but until we were absolutely sure that he didn't have a chance of recovery and that he was not capable of coming off the machines we didn't want to have to make that horrid decision.

Also so many nurses (trying to be nice) kept giving us stories of sunshine , rainbows and butterflies, and case scenarios of recovery.

It took one nurse, after a night of after having to go down his ventilator tube 3 times in one night and stimulate a cough and regulate his heart beat before he had another cardiac arrest to tell us the honest truth.

If they had to do CPR it would have killed him, he was so fragile he would have bled out immediately. She also said his pupils were now uneven and he was showing signs of diminished brain function.

So my husband knew what he had to do. But he had to get all the family together first. All 5 children. All of them except my husband live 8 hours away in Alberta. His 2 sisters were already here, they were planning on traveling home that Thursday that the nurse gave us the honest truth so they stayed.

We phoned his 2 brothers and the sisters husbands and they immediately started to get things together to travel that day.

I started the process of going to funeral homes with his 2 sisters to gather information.

While we were in the first funeral home both girls phones kept vibrating in their pockets non-stop, but they ignored them cuz we were doing something important.

Finally Kandy peaked at her text, it was from her hubby who made it CLEAR she needed to phone him NOW!

She stepped out into the foyer, but we could hear the whole conversation:

" OH NO! oh no! is he OK?!! . . his car is totaled?! . . did he go thru an intersection . . oh no?!!"

The youngest brother Cody had gotten into a traffic accident. His mind was so preoccupied he went thru a red light and was t-boned on both sides of his car, was knocked unconscious and had to be removed with the jaws of life

long story short, he was absolutely fine, by a miracle he didn't even have a scratch or bruise and felt fine the next day, but was unable to travel up here.

So we were waiting for all the family that was delayed to arrive on Friday. Friday 5pm were were taking him off the ventilator.

All day Thursday was horrible gloomy, I had terrible nightmares that night, unspeakable torturous nightmares. Friday morning was very somber, who wakes up knowing that a member of there family is going to die today?! Who makes an appointment with death?!

I had hardly eaten in DAYS, I had absolutely no appetite.

All the siblings went into his room one by one all alone to say there last goodbyes. We all sat in the emergency conference room waiting their turns it was so horrible, it was always the spouse who poked their head in the room to let the next child know they could go, then they had to run and catch up with the fleeing crying mate.

After the nurses removed the tubes, cleaned him up an gave him some medications to make him comfortable we all went into the room. His breathe was fast ,shallow laboured and raspy , and rattly with fluid.

We were in the room for six hours, he died shortly after midnight. His oldest daughter never left his side for 6 hours, didn't sit down, never went to the bathroom. I was standing by the bed with her and stroking his hair hand holding his hand as he took his last breaths. I was just compelled to do anything I could to comfort. It deeply disturbed me the thought of someone dying alone. I would have done it for a stranger.

(I remember when my son was almost 2 and we had to be rushed by air ambulance to an ICU hospital because he aspirated a cashew nut into his left bronchial tube. I remember sitting by my son's bed waiting for him to wake up post surgery and seeing a tiny infant girl all alone in the bed next to us. She was so tiny and beautiful, she has so much hair. But, she was all alone, and just staring at the ceiling. My son was comfortable and sleeping, so I took a moment to go talk to the baby and stroke her hand. It just bothered me to see her all alone, even tho she technically wasn't dying)

Even tho he was fairly estranged and isolated himself from the family sue to his drinking, all of their campassion and forgiveness was automatic. Right before he took his last breathe a single tear slid down his cheek. That tear haunts me. Was he sad that he was dying, did he feel that his children had given up on him ? Or was he so moved by the love of his estranged children that they would all be there at his bedside during his final moments, and he was now regretting that he did not spend more time with them ?

At the SAME time in the same hospital very dear family friends were going thru very similar circumstances. They are an elderly couple just one month shy of their 50th wedding anniversary. She is a dear friend and they have taken us in like members of the family.

She had been in the hospital for many many health complications, and diabetes, her kidneys were failing. She had gone into a coma one day. The next day she woke up! It was my ray of sunshine in such gloomy times. She is a stubborn fighter that woman, she had made it out of the hospital many times before
Her son was getting re married in 2 weeks (I am decorating and doing the cake) I was sure she would be getting out in time to go.

Then as we were leaving the hospital after making our fateful decision , her husband was walking into the hospital with the same exhausted drained look on his face. We have been seeing him at the hospital almost everyday for 2-3 weeks now. I gave him a hug in the parking lot. He was going in to sign the DNR papers and have her moved to hospice.

She died only a few hours after my FIL. It was the hardest things to have to tell my children of not one but TWO deaths. Marilyn was like a grandma to them.

My Father in Law was cremated the following Wednesday. All the siblings had to travel home on Sunday/Monday morning.

My husband and I went to view the body on Tuesday. We didn't want to at first, but we are glad we did in the end. He was neatly dressed, clean shaven, he had been washed and his hair was clean. He had his hat on, he was wearing a sweater my husband had received after his grandpa (his Dad's Father) had died a few years ago. he looked so peaceful, like he was sleeping but just a bit too still to be sleeping. But seeing him looking more like himself , rather than making gasping breaths and withering away is a much better image to have left in your mind.

We are going Marilyns funeral later today.

This is the 4th death I have had to deal with in the past year. A grandmother, and grandfather, a father-in-law, and a dear friend. I am kinda feeling defeated.

Dealing with 2 deaths in such a horrible devastating life altering way in the deep dark middle of winter has me struggling for sure. I have no desire to do anything at the moment. I don't know if I will compete this year. I don't really care.

we'll see what time brings, but for the right now, it doesn't seem to matter.

A Lotta Noise

2009-12-30T10:35:00.000-08:00

The dogs are getting along great ! Wally is definitely not shy or timid, he is a little instigator and likes wrestling with Tucker. Which is exactly what we wanted :)

Tucker was a little stunned at first and almost looked like he was scared to hurt Wally. He would just stand there and look at him ,and then look at us as if to say: " honestly?! what am I supposed to do with the little guy ?"

Now Tucker will wrestle, but he is barley touching him. Wally is still fairly wobbly on his feet and is easy to knock over. Tucker will just use one paw and push him down, or use the side of his head to push him around. Wally HATES it when Tucker gets all excited and does a "run by" Tucker will run by and before Wally knows it Tucker has wapped him and he is flat on his back, he scrambles back to his feet just in time for Tucker to run back the other way and wap him again knocking him off his feet.

It is HILARIOUS to see this tiny little fluffy wuffy puppy get mad! He bares his teeth and has this tiny little growl, sounds like a kitten purrr LOL!

Wally will stand his ground and Tucker is so gentle and meek that he will back off if he isn't too excited. I took a video of them playing around and at one point Wally got so mad and he put the run on Tucker. They makes alot of noise but that is all it is a lot of noise lol!

YAY! a PUPPY!

2009-12-29T09:57:00.000-08:00

We finally got in touch with the breeder, and Wednesday Dec 23rd we got a little 1.7lb little ball of fluff named Wally! lol!

We had 2 puppies to choose from. We chose Wally a bit for his coloring cuz he looked so much like Tucker, their marking are almost identical, but also my Hubby was picking this puppy and was looking for 2 things:
- a puppy to hopefully bond with him since tucker is my baby and chose me to be his one and only mommy to be loyal to.
- and a little puppy with a spunky attitude that could hopefully keep up to Tucker.

When Tucker first met the puppy he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do, he was a little bit nervous of the new little guy, he kept backing away. Wally immediately became Tuckers shadow and wanted to play. He trots along behind Tucker everywhere it is really cute.

Tucker has his little cushions and beds all over the house and Wally tries to hop in and snuggle with him, but Tucker doesn’t like bein’ all snuggly with him yet, Tucker always flees the situation and then Wally has the bed all to himself.

Tucker was a bit more needy for a bit and wanted a lot of extra love and attention from me just to make sure he was still top dog. Finally by the end of the second day Tucker started to play with Wally. He is quite patient and lets Wally get away with a lot. Then Tucker gets all excited and hyper and probably showing his dominance a bit he does his “friendly” growl and knocks Wally around.

At first Wally loves it and a keeps lunging back at Tucker for more, so Tucker steps it up a a notch and poor Wally is not so stable on his feet and even less on the lino and laminate floors. Wally gets so mad and frustrated and feels a bit threatened when Tucker gets a bit more aggressive. It is SO funny to see sucha tiny little puppy growl and bare his teeth LOL!

He stands his ground tho, and then they quickly make up and Tucker comes over and licks him as if to say “Sorry little buddy I was only playin” Some time it really does look like Tucker is giving him wrestling lessons. I think they are gonna have a few doozy of scraps in the future, they have to figure out their alpha order.

But over all Tucker is definitely calming down, he is more content to snuggle with me and just be my little love instead of ME having to be is wrestling buddy.

My Latest Obsession :P

2009-12-14T10:02:00.000-08:00

I really want to get another Puppy. It is like that obsessive motherly hormonal need to have a baby but I want a puppy instead LOL!

Tucker is going to be 2 at the end of January. He is a Yorkie Chihuahua cross and is such an adorable perfect little puppy for us!

My husband and my son have allergy induced asthma and allergies to animals, But they have no reaction to Tuckers mix so I am looking for another puppy like him.

Tucker is my baby, he follows me everywhere, even to the bathroom. When I am gone, he goes to bed and my hubby says he doesn't come out until he hears the car pull into the driveway, and he is always there waiting when I open the door.

I am his "mommy" and his buddy. He constantly nips playfully, and whines, and barks and talks to me telling me to stop what I am doing and playyyy with him, he wants to wrestle, he wants to play chase, he wants to play hide and seek, he wants to play ball, he NEEDS a pesky little brother!

We phoned the breeder we got him from and she had another batch of Chorkies that will be ready to go around Christmas. She has 2 boys for us to choose from, I have been impatiently waiting for her to send me photos! I was supposed to get some last week! So what do I do?? I check my email every 15, 20, 30 minutes ! LOL!

Then to satisfy my need for puppies pictures I look at online ads just to pass the time . . I saw these little guys and I said to myself those are not puppies they are baby EWOKS! OMG so cute! (not the right doggie for us, but sooooo CUTE!)

Bonus!

2009-12-07T11:10:00.000-08:00

Well, I finally got tired of waiting for the BCABBA website to update their comp schedule for 2010 and I just emailed them.

Turns out the Western Canadians is NOT in April as it has been for the past several years. It is in MAY! all the way into MAY 22nd!

SoooOOOooooo . . . . I am NOT 18weeks out I am 24 weeks out! So I gotta scale back the exuberant cardio training just a bit, gotta leave some in the tank for later. My aim right now is a minimum of 40min 4 times a week, anything beyond that, like swimming, is just a bonus.

This is good and bad news.

Bad cuz I was totally in the zzzooone and a great mental place and all excited to really hit my training and diet hard. Now I gotta hold back just a bit.

Good cuz, I have more time! I will definitely use this extra time to be further ahead with my conditioning than I was last June! I will definately be able to bring my best package yet! That is exciting. oh gives me heart palpitations just thinking about it!

All that Roaring Helped!

2009-12-02T09:37:00.000-08:00

Hmm . . . seems I may be feelin' my inner lion a bit more.

It has been my goal for some time now to say that I can bench press my own body weight. I havn't really worked on my flat bench in quite some time, but was feelin' strong and like havin' some fun at the gym yesterday.

I flat benched 135lb for 2 sets of 10 ! I was floatin' on air after that Iwas so excited!

Rawr!

2009-12-01T09:30:00.000-08:00

I love this picture!

I have seen it before with the caption:

"where the mind goes, the body follows"

and

"what matters most is how you see yourself"

I love positive quotes, affirmations, visualisations they really get me thru training for a competition. For example:

I am not one who reallllly loooves cardio, a shown by my lack of doin' so in my off-season LOL!

However, I am driven, I have a goal, I want to do my personal best and beat the old me. Every meal is me competing, every workout and every cardio session.

When I am in comp prep mode cardio becomes my meditating visualization time. My Ipod speaks to me in music. I find meaning in every lyric, I see myself walking on stage, I tear up at the thought of placing top 3 and qualifying for provincials, I even gasp at the sound of my name being called for first, and the smile on my face as I walk out on the stage AGAIN and get every last bit of show time outta my blinged bikini as I compete for figure overall.

I am livin' my dream while I do cardio. I am not only dreaming, but DOING something about it at the same time. It is that aspect of cardio that I LOVE.

Like the other day, I am listening to 3 Days Grace - "Pain without love" and this lyric gave me drive to push harder:

" . . Pain, can't get enough

Pain, I like it rough

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Anger and agony Are better than misery

Trust me, I've got a plan

When the lights go up you'll understand . . "

what goes thru my head is this little pep talk:

My legs were burning my lower back was hurting,

I was hatin' that stuuuupid stepper.

But I embraced the pain, " can't get enough, I like it rough"

I pushed thru it. "i've got a plan"

when I am on stage and

"the lights go up you'll (I) understand"

why it was all so worth it!

the pain right now is

"better than the misery"

of losing knowing that i did not try my best

when it counted.

A kick in the A$$ ! ;)

2009-11-23T15:09:00.000-08:00

Every once in a while we need a friendly kick in the butt, ya know, friendly reminders to suck it up and be grateful.

Winter is hard for me, seasonal depression on top of depression and anxiety, it can be brutal. BUT winter time is comp. prep. time for me, my local competition choices are Nov, April, June July . . . winter is no time for me to sit around and feed my emotions or allow myself to get in a funk.

I was sent this video by a friend last year and I watch it every once in awhile to remind myself ; I can achieve despite.

Despite WHAT-EV-ER!

This video fires up my determination, my gratitude and of course I cry every time! . . . like a sobbing fool. But, it is good for me.

You may have all seen it before, but we all need reminders. I am gonna watch it again and do my best to not sink into a "woe is me, my life sucks ,and the whole world is against me " funk this winter.

Do not let what you can't do get in the way of what you CAN DO !

YOWZA! Time Flies !

2009-11-22T19:14:00.000-08:00

OMGawsh! only 20 weeks until I compete in the Western Canadians! 20 weeks was my deadline for quitting my off-season carelessness. I am making a point of doin' more cardio, and cutting back on the cheats.

No hard core dieting or cardio yet, just gearin' up for the real action. I know my body needs more time than 12 weeks, so I am gonna slowly taper my body down and be at a great head start when 12 weeks hits then GAME ON!

I am determined to bring a tighter package to the stage every time and so far I have done that, and I am gonna give this my all and once again have a new personal best!

I am SOOoooo excited!

I love structure!

"Healthy Lifestyle Stuff"

2009-11-19T11:40:00.000-08:00

Well, about the diet plan I was gonna follow from the bodybuilding.com article . . .

It doesn't work for me, not progress wise, but mental wise. I am not good at flip flopping around. I like steady, predictable, consistent. Switching my diet every 5 days, and having the whole rotational process and cardio, then no cardio, etc is all too much. My life is too busy to put that much thought into my workouts.

I will continue to do what I know and what works for me. Sorry I couldn't give a better update.
_____

Training my husbands boss has been FANTASTIC!! He is the perfect client, he does exactly what I tell him too. I check his food journal and he is doin' awesome! The proof is in his results as well. We were both very pleased with the first weeks weigh in and BF test. :)
He works very hard during his work outs and doesn't wimp out on me, he may make weird painful noises but he keeps goin' LOL! gotta respect that!
_______

Random tidbits from Trey:
(my 7 year old son)

The kids and I were getting the car to pick my hubby up from work, I had packed food to eat; chicken breast , asparagus, and a small dab of soft goat cheese melted over it.
Trey gets in the car and says:

" what is that smell?! . . . ohhh, you're eating your healthy lifestyle stuff again"

And random stuff from me:

I really should wear my glasses when I am on the computer. A few weeks ago when Stacey was bloggin' about Poms in "Pom-tastic" I thought she was bloggin' about porn in Porn-tastic LOL! Thought maybe she had a new workout video to show us LOL!

And then I see the title "the past week" on another blog and I thought it said the peak week and I was all like what!!?!! she competed already?!?! but not yet LOL! I didn't miss it .

maybe I should wear my glasses, or maybe not, keeps things interesting, but for the sake of keepin' things accurate* I probably should :P

*and by accurate I don't mean less typos or improved grammar on my part.

Oooh Bee-hayve !

2009-11-04T09:15:00.000-08:00

Oh! This is soooo great!

My husbands BOSS, wants to hire me to be his personal trainer! (oh, I can barely type cuz I am vibrating and shrieking with excitement!!) He actually said he wants me to kick his a$$ in the gym!! Ooooh you don't even KNOW what you just said!

Seriously it will give my hubby so much joy to see his boss with legs so stiff and sore he is gonna be walking around the shop like he sh!t his pants, let alone how much he is gonna regret having to sit down and then stand up off the toilet to do just that ! MUhahahHAhahaaaa!

One of the things that drives my hubby nuts (besides the condescending disrespectful arrogance)is when his boss overloads him with work, interrupts him in the middle of an urgent order or project to do some other menial task, (cuz the boss doesn't understand the intricate store operations and computer tasks ) and my hubby tries to explain he doesn't have time (and they are not allowed to put in over time right now) and the boss replies " Buddy, ya gotta make time!"

Oh you know what I am gonna say dontcha ?!! - in the MOST encouraging and professional non-condescending way possible of course ;)

Seriously tho, this is gonna be awesome, I'm really looking forward to this! Just gotta keep tellin' myself be professional be professional don't kill him just be professional . .. . . . .

Pretty Pretty bling!

2009-11-03T09:10:00.000-08:00

I looove blingin' out suits! Playing with sparkly crystals all day and playing an entire season of Greys Anatomy what a great day!! Plus, having the itsy bitsy teeny weeny bikini butt in front of me keeps me motivated LOL!

I have been buying new suits and decorating them to sell online, as well as doing my own suits, and now friends are asking me to do their suits. My friend Jess is competing Nov 14th and she wanted to add more bling to her suit. After her last show the judges told her that her suit was too plain, and light, and didn't really stand out. So I had to work around the existing swirly scroll pattern and decided I added a paisley design. Just so happens she loves paisley!

I added 1500 crystals to her 2 piece suit, not plain anymore! She loooved it, she tried it on right away and couldn't stop touchin' it and smiling. Gotta love satisfied customers. 1500 crystals and I charged her $160 a pretty darn good deal too!

Here are some comparison shots (the resolution and focus is kinda crappy cuz they were taken' with her phone or copied from Facebook . . . I forgot to bring my camera to take a pic d'oh!)

Ducks in a Row

2009-10-29T08:48:00.000-07:00

Just having a goal is not enough. You (when I say "you" I mean me , but if you'd like to listen in go ahead LOL) need to have an action plan as to how you will achieve this goal. There must be organization and follow thru.

I am not completely lost, but I feel I need more structure. My life is busy and if things are not cemented in a organized plan and even written out, they may not get done, OR I don't get as much satisfaction from visually checking them off my cluttered list. So, even tho I may be accomplishing what I set out to do, unless I can see it crossed off a list, I will not feel like it was actually done and it remains on my mental to do list, thus decreasing my sense of accomplishment.

So, I must make a workout schedule, plan using the calendar, write down the days I will workout, and what I will be doing.

Food can not be left to chance or last minute decisions of "what am I a gonna eat?" Plan it, Pre-Cook it, Cook in bulk.

So, I must clean out my fridge, so that it is organized, and has room for my pre cooked food, and also frees up some plastic containers for my new food LOL! And , plan a healthy shopping list of things I will need.

I am much more productive with a list, a plan and a schedule .

Wedding Cake - Part 1

2009-10-28T09:28:00.000-07:00

My Best friend Sarah got married last week, and I had the honour of making her wedding cake, and being in the wedding party.

When she asked me to make her cake I wanted to give her the cake of her dreams and wanted very specific details from her. But I kept getting :

whatever you do I'm sure will be amazing"

I wasn't comfortable with that so I asked for pictures, concepts etc. She gave me 2 pictures and said

" if these 2 cakes had a baby, that would be my wedding cake"

??!?

So I did my best and she loved it! Phew!

However, due to complicated circumstances she was not able to have a reception but only a small dinner for 20 people, which doesn't require a lot of cake. So I made the top 3 layers of her cake with styrofoam rounds and the botom layer was big enough to feed her guests so that she could have the size and grandeur of the cake she wanted without wasting excess cake.

BUT

We are planning a surprise reception for her and 150 people in a couple weeks and I need to recreate this cake! Thank goodness I can save the top 3 phony layers, (which I so graciously offered to take home and look after while she went on her honeymoon LOL! ) so I just have to bake 2 more larger tiers to go on the bottom. Yay!

Makes Me Go Hmmmm. . .

2009-10-22T12:33:00.000-07:00

Along with all the groceries, my wonderful Mommy also sent me a copy of this book:

The Secret

She wrote me a note in the front cover, and she gave me a package of multi coloured post-it flags to highlight points. She intended for me to read it over the winter . . . but I am already on page 84 of 198 ! and I have 13 post-its in the first 70 pages LOL!

My mom wanted me to highlight points to share with her and we could have our own little book club type discussion on the phone this winter. So sweet cuz she is really helping me to stay in a positive frame of mind over the winter. This could quite possibly be the sweetest thing my mom has ever done for me. Really understanding and accepting of her ( lots of history here ) I just love how wonderfully thought out this gift was.

So, ya, I am almost half way thru it. I really love positve quotes, affirmations, visualizations all of that stuff so this book is really perfect for me.

One of the first things I highlighted was:

" If you see it in your mind, you're hoing to hold it in your hand" ~ Bob Proctor

he also said:

" If you don't understand the law that doesn't mean you should reject it. You may not understand electricity, and yet you enjoy the benefits of it. I don't know how it works. But, I do know this: You can cook your dinner with electricity , and you can also cook the man!"

Such powerful and thought provoking information on the laws of attraction and creating positive thoughts and being in control of your life thru your thoughts and drawing good things to you and being grateful. I could practically quote the whole book cuz it is so wonderful all of it.

ANYWAY . . .

Some interesting things have been happening . . I have been looking for more steady income and part time work that still allows me to make my children a priority, but can help ease some of the financial pressure we feel. In that process of looking at ads and so forth I noticed a job opportunity for my husband.

A job that is actually in the field he is ticketed for, that he has not been able to use to the full in the almost 10 years we have been married. This job also allows for further education in this field, and additional apprenticeship and journeyman ticket !

We wrote up the resume, and cover letter, he dropped it off, made a follow up phone call 2 days later.

AND

Got a call for a job interview!! BUT, the interview had to be at 12 noon . . problem?

My hubbys lunch is not until 1. His BOSS has HIS lunch at noon!

This Boss has just been appointed store manager after the firing of the old manger and is still in the process of this hostile feeling take over, and company transition, and is very hard to work for, and my husband is very nervous around him and fears for his job. (even tho his position is hard to fill and in a small store of 3 employees he is desperately needed)

HOW?! How are we gonna get him to his job interview , ask the boss to trade lunch times and not have to explain . . .

My hubby walks into work and his boss says : " I need a 1 o'clock lunch today "

WHAT?!! sooooo PERFECT!! (thank you universe!)

My hubby played it cool and replied " Oh, Ok, I guess I could go for lunch at 12"

He had a great interview, and this job would mean a great deal more income to our family and would really be wonderful, especially cuz it would be less stress for my husband and a great opportunity for further education!

We can't stop talking about it, and I am very actively thinking about our life as if he has the job. I feel like he has the job!!

We are waiting for the call to tell us he is short listed and has a second interview.

But, the whole lunch hour switch being so perfect and wonderful has me thinking Hmmmmm . .

Also, I have been looking for work and what has been coming my way? WORK, not entirely in the way I expected tho ,

I have been writing up fitness programs for friends,

making a wedding cake,

3 friends want painting and interior design advice / work from me.

My brother has friends who recently found out there 3 year old son is deaf and they are having a hard time finding child care, I know ASL and so do my children, he phoned to see if I would be interested in babysitting,

and he also recently painted his living room after consulting me on colours etc. had 2 more friend interested in interior design advice or painting from me.

Also my friends whom I am training pay me in great moral support and they gave me a gift card to go buy NEW WORKOUT SHOES!! I cried! I have NEVER bought shoes from a sports store before. (usually Wal-Mart) and shoes happened to be on a KICK BUTT sale buy one get one FREEEE!

AND I also needed a new winter coat for my daughter . . but was waiting for a sale, or for the thrift store to have a quality coat in her size show up before it was too cold. .

My friend brings me a bag of hand-me-downs from her daughter. Not one but FIVE winter coats, dressy ones, cools, ones, pink ones, blue ones, and BOOTS, and pants . . I cried!

All these things have me thinking . . . Hmmmm . . the Secret , eh?

Free Food! and Fish Cakes

2009-10-20T13:55:00.000-07:00

My younger brother lives here, and last weekend went home to visit the family and Mom sent him back here with a TRUCK LOAD of groceries for me. TONS of home grown veggies and produce, and fish fillets, and jams, and home canned goods, soups, frozen meatballss, all kinds of stuff! Seriously if I had to buy all that stuff it probably woulda been $ 300-400 !!
THANKS MOM!

She sent a huge bag of white fish fillets, I think they are halibut. A good lean source of protein . . . BUT . . not the yummiest thing . . I prefer tilapia less smelly and fishy tasting and more flaky . . But, I am not gonna waste free food.

So I had to come up with a tolerable way to eat this fish . . I tried poaching it, bah! who am I kidding I just boiled the crap out of it in a big pot of water! LOL! Tried eating it with some light italian dressing just like I would have eaten my tilapia . . EWWwww! I was gaging it was awful, so chewy and fishy . . blech! BUT FREE! . . must eat!

So then I tried making fish cakes, this was my first attempt:

I took the ~~poached~~ boiled and tortured fish weighed out 3oz,
put it in my minni food chopper/processor I
put 1 egg white and a whole ton of Mrs.Dash, garlic and herb and table shake,
and blended it till it was smooth and creamy like thick batter.
I heated up a small skillet and brushed it with a few drops of oil and dumped the batter in.
I made one huge fish cake cuz I was gonna eat the whole thing anyway.
It would probably make 4 smaller cuter fish cakes if ya feel like bein' all Martha Stewart.
I turned out all pretty and golden brown and kinda fluffy. Much easier to chew. I spread dijon mustard on it . . not bad . . not my favorite . . but not bad

My second attempt was much tastier and picture worthy. :)

Veggie Fish Cakes

Blend in mini food chopper till, really mushy, like consistency of hummus :
3oz fish
1 egg white
couple dashes of poultry seasoning
bunch of Mrs. Dash grilled chicken blend

dump that in a bowl and add
grated carrot
chopped steamed broccoli

heat up a non stick pan and brush with a couple drops of oil

I made these all pretty and smaller for the picture, Press firmly into 4 patties and then press flat in the pan , I sprinkled them lightly with pepper and some salty blend stuff

I am sure most of you are more gourmet than me and can add your own spices and veggie mix, adapt the recipe to your taste.

The best part I BARELY TASTED FISH!! they were easy to chew, pleasant to swallow! Good enough for me.

Oh, and they were FREE!

I Am Hearing Voices . . .LOL!?

2009-10-19T09:37:00.000-07:00

Over at the Muscle and Fitness Hers Forum a member posted this article : http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/betteru47.htm

I am gonna give it a try! I have been wishy washy and not stickin' to a specific plan. I want to bulk but get nervous about the weight, so I flip back to leaning, then I have a cheat and a higher carb day . . I need to have more structure. So I am gonna give this plan a go since it is very close to what I am doing now, and it will give me more peace of mind knowing I am actually following something. I will just tweak my diet and training to be more specifically in line with the article and clean up my eats a bit.

Today is day 1 of 5 lean eating days.

I had a cheat meal last night - tortilla chips with homemade artichoke and spinach dip OMGoodness it was so goood and the chips were so light a crispy and crunchy and lightly salted and the dip was so creamy and tangy and spinachy LOL! . . . but I have a huge tummy ache today

I am PMSing (it is really interesting that if you go back in my journal it ALWAYS seems to be when I am PMSing that I get all fired up want to try a new plan and have to do a weigh in and I am all water logged and then when I am ready to hit the gym and get started I get my period, WHY IS THIS??! I swear there must be a real pshycological reason)

anyway . . I weighed myself this morning . .

um . . .

I was 139.8! ....so let's just round that to 140lb!!

BUT I don't really FEEL like 140lbs. (does that count ?)

I mean I am by no means rockin' my cute jeans, and things are a bit tight, but I have had my clothes fit MUCH worse when I weighed 135 before. So I am not entirely happy about how my clothes fit, but I know I am only 2 good weeks away from having most of my clothes feel comfy. Normally most chicks would FREAK OUT about steppin' on the scale and seeing an all time high off season weight . . but I am taking all things into account not just the scale. I am not allowing myself to freak out. Honestly it actually excites me! I am thinking I am gonna be sportin' some new rockin' curvey muscle when I lean out this spring!!

...that is yet to be seen tho LOL!!

. . . 140lbs . . craziness I tell ya! It's like I have a guy on each shoulder, like the devil and angel situation and one guy is sayin:

"freak out! this is not a good off-season you are gonna have a fat butt on stage!"

and the other is sayin:

" no worries! rejoice in your muscle gains, your not fat."

I am just a normal everyday woman with those crazy thoughts, voices in my head and internal battles too ! . . . helloo . it's not just me . . . right?! . . . helloooo.. *chirping crikets *

REALLY??!

2009-10-15T11:56:00.000-07:00

Ooops ! It has been awhile!

Been crazy busy. My best friend is gettin' married in 8 DAYS!

We had her bachelorette party 2 weeks ago! Wicked awesome time!! we rented a King Size Suite at the Coast Inn of the North, and rented a limo for 2 hours. we did a pub crawl and along the way we did a "that guy" (y know, mullet guy, big side burns guy, too old to be there guy, really buff guy, big belt buckle guy etc) photo scavenger hunt it was a Hooot! We stopped at the fire hall and got to flirt with the fire fighters and hug the pole LOL! Went to a couple clubs and had wayyy tooo much fun!

Last weekend I planned her bridal shower, it was an 80's theme since the bride and groom were born in the 80's ! I dressed my son up in a style reminiscent of Richard Simmons, so hilarious I gotta upload a picture!

As for the gym and fitnessy stuff . .

I've been hittin' the weights pretty hard, have made a new friend who is as competitive and ridiculously in love with weights and muscle as I am. Her brother would like to compete in the April show I wanna do.

We have also been doin' lots of bootcamp style workouts. Pretty much every muscle group in my body is recovering from DOMS. :)

Food has been 70-80% clean. Lots of protein and more carbs than I am used to, but I am telling myself that this is a necessary evil in order to bulk up and really add the muscle I need. But I wanted to widen my back not my BACKSIDE erg! LOL!

But, I may just have to start my official contest prep in a bit stricter mode than usual. Lotsa tilapia and asparagus! :P What a way to start the new year. I WISH they would post the 2010 competition schedule already!! Cuz then I can number my calendar and mark the weeks and register for the comp like a zillions weeks early so I will actually gain some willpower and stick to something!

anyhoo . . . I'll try to work on gettin' ya'll some pics when I get a moment cuz I really need to clean up my house it is embarrassing!

:P Slurrrp!

2009-09-15T10:03:00.000-07:00

I am sitting down to eat chicken breast and cucumber. The first thought that went thru my mind:

" A nice fluffy biscuit would taste really good with this"

Really productive thinking LOL!

MMmmmm biscuitsss . . . .

Dance and Squeal

2009-09-08T13:50:00.000-07:00

1st Day of School tomorrow!!

. . barely . .

kids only go for 2 hours . . ....what a tease LOL!

This is gonna be like a whole pivotal moment in life for me. No kids at home during the day!
6 whole hours a day to be ME!

First thing I am gonna focus on is finishing my PT course and FINALLY getting ISSA Certified!!
Then go fulfill a fantasy and work at my Gym!! That means all kinds of perks and FREE membership!

Oh, oh. . . Fitness and FREE . . . . oh oh oh yyyyeahhhhhh! MMmmm . . . . yes! yes! yesss! so good!

My New Fav's

2009-08-20T15:21:00.000-07:00

My two current favorite foods (healthy fitnessy foods) currently are:

Chicken Breast with Almond Butter. YES! ALMOND BUTTER. *love* I 've been eating it alot and I am not sick of it yet.

and

Protein Pudding. I mix my chocolate protein powder, with some sugar free jello pudding powder add a little bit of water, stir till thick and smooth then, grab a big spoon, and take a 1Tbsp scoop of natural PB and stir that in. YUM! and when I drink a glass of water with that, woah! It fills me up!

Another thing I really like, is feeling soreness in my glute muscles! Like right deep down in the big fat buttcheeks that I am trying to trim down. I just imagine that soreness turning into muscle growth and givin' me a firm round booty. Maybe not how it works scientifically but it works just fine for my positive visualizations :P

HOLY CRAP 8 DAYS 'till my sisters wedding! I gotta go do some stuff . . . . .

Ta DA!

2009-08-18T22:21:00.000-07:00

My first whimsical cake!

This was sooooo FUN!

The entire thing ( except for the twisty branches) is edible, even the heart and banner cake topper and flowers are made from marshmallow fondant.

Marshmallow Fondant.

1 bag of mini marshmallows

1kg bag of icing sugar

Crisco

Water

Use LOTS of Crisco (1/4 - 1/2 cup) and grease a large circle area on your counter to knead the fondant later.

Grease a microwaveable bowl with Crisco. Dump whole bag of marshmallows. Toss marshmallows with 1 tablespoon of water.

Microwave for 30 seconds stir. Repeat until marshmallows are all melted and a nice frothy liquid.

Add half the bag of icing sugar to the bowl and stir.

Dump the other half of the icing sugar on the greased counter and spread it out.

Dump the mixture in the bowl onto the counter and begin tot knead mixture just like you would bread dough. Work all the icing sugar into the fondant.

You can use it right away, or lightly grease it with Crisco and store it in a air tight bag for later use. You may need to microwave it for a few seconds to warm it up when you need to use it later.

Super easy, cheap, and YUMMY. No one has ever peeled the fondant off and left it on the side of their plate. I always get compliments on how yummy the fondant is and how surprised people were when they tasted it. :)

. . . yeah this is not a low fat or low sugar recipe by any means LOL!

Cake at Midnight

2009-08-18T00:37:00.001-07:00

No, I am not wallowing in self pity and eating cake at midnight . . . I am just baking it . LOL!

Enuf of that funk I was in, I am back onto better things.

My bestest (ya I said bestest) friend just got engaged and we are having an engagement party this Wednesday. I am making the cake, YAY! It is also a trial run for the topsy turvy, whimsical, checkerboard cake I wanna make for my sisters wedding. So even tho it is one more thing on my busy plate I am havin' fun with it and glad to be doin' it cuz I have already learned what NOT to do LOL! this will save me time and stress next week. Bonus!

So . . . . . it is midnight and I am waiting for cake to finish baking. Cuz, I got a late start after goin' to the gym after hubby got off work, makin' supper, fumbling with 6 boxes of cake batter, taking a break to play a 4 player family game of Mario Carts on our practically antique Nintendo 64 (but still the best IMO) then put the kids to bed late like wayyyyy past 9 late, then finally finish scooping all the cake batter into the pans and wait for it all to cook . . .

. . . . yeah nothing like falling asleep to the smell of fresh baked cake :P

I am so excited to wake up tomorrow and play with marshmallow fondant and make a purrrdy cake! I'll show ya'll pics when it is done.

Oh, and just in case my run-on sentences annoy you . . . my life is one big run-on sentence and so goes my blog , that probably isn't gonna change. I know my blog grammar sucks , but I just don't care. I am edu-ma-cay-ted, I just choose to be care free here LOL!

I'm gonna go try to shut my brain off and ZZZZZzzzzzz.....

One more thing:

My 7 year old son said today:
"you are actually pretty good at all this wedding stuff"

Thoughts 'n' Stuff

2009-08-13T15:22:00.000-07:00

I suffer from an anxiety disorder, and chronic depression . . .

. . . today I am freakin' out a bit. I am havin' one of those moments where I want everything and nothing at the same time.

I have all these thoughts that overwhelm my brain. Random thoughts that can not be put in logical order. They range from, wondering about taking care of my parents when they are old and need extra care, to wondering about how to plan a funeral, how I am going to pay my next bill, who my kids new school teachers are gonna be, what will I do if my kids get bullied, I hope my sister doesn't blame me if anything goes wrong at her wedding, where are my black workout pants?!! I have a lot of laundry to do, but for my constant feeling of a lack of having any clothes why is it so hard to find a place to put all this laundry!? I hope we don't get into a car accident this winter, I would really like to be able to afford good winter tires not just "winter rated all seasons" *rolling eyes* should I get a puppy to keep Tucker company, but what if I get a part time job will my dogs be lonely? Will I be too tired to spend quality time with my kids . . . the thoughts just keep coming and they all need an answer immediatley , so my brain thinks.

Not to mention all the projects and ideas and to do lists in my head that keep me so distracted I don't even know where to begin so I sit there and do nothing cuz I am too stressed about where to start, then the longer I sit with my thoughts the worse I feel, until I am too scared to get up cuz I feel like my next move would not be constructive

and all that gets so much worse when I am hormonal and have my period which brings me to my state today.

I should go to the gym, I know I will feel a bit better if I do. But I really need a break from my kids and I would rather spend a luxurious hour away from them doing anything else but sweating and feelin' like crap in the gym today . . .

which leads to another thought. I have this coupon for a one month pass to a local gym, that I am not a member at. BUT I am wondering if I could find someone who would want it and that I know and trust and would be willing to babysit my kids for it.

Yeah that's right I am contemplating paying a babysitter in coupons!

. . . and the date with my hubby would be paid for with coupons, we both probably have enough reward points to get free movie vouchers, and we have a coupon for a 2 for 1 dinner entree at our favorite Japanese grill.

I just need a break and some peace and quiet . . . I want to be alone but I don't want to be lonely.

I'm Thinkin' Burger.

2009-08-08T19:55:00.000-07:00

We were driving by a roadside burger stand and I know I have gotten a milkshake there before, but I couldn't remember if I have ever tried their burgers or if they were any good.

So I ask my hubby " You've got a burger from there before haven't you?"

" I'm not sure why do you ask?"

" I was just wondering if they were good or not. I am just thinking about good burgers . . . "

then he said , (and this is the whole random point ) :

" I can't remember if they were memorable or not"

SERIOUSLY he was NOT kidding ! LOL!

I am just thinkin' hamburger, just thinkin' . . . .

Still Growing . . .

2009-08-07T14:07:00.000-07:00

Recently I have been having a dilema about which competition to do next, and which federation to compete in . .

I am a current competitive member of the BCABBA. I placed 5th in my last competition. I need to place top 3 to qualify for provincials which is my current long term goal for now. My next opportunity to qualify is in November at the Sandra Wickham Fall Classic in New Westminster OR in April at the Western Canadians in Kelowna. OR I could join the INBF and do a show Oct 3rd which is a pro qualifier and there is even small amounts of cash to be won!

I am feelin' I won't be ready for an early October show. Even tho the idea of cash, no matter how little it may be is tempting, I just don't think I would be bringin' my A-Game. I don't think I would enjoy the prep as much cuz I'd be too stressed about the time crunch . . . maybe I'll try next year now that I know . . .

So that leaves me with the BCABBA shows. I have also decided against Nov. It is more than a 9 hour drive in winter weather . . too scary. Plus, my physique would not be ready IMO.

So, even tho I will have to re-new my BCABBA membership to compete in April, I think that gives me the best amount of time to really bring up my weak areas and then trim down my excess. :P Plus, that show is only a 7 hour drive, and in a much better season.

I think taking extra time is a going to be a wise decision. I sat down and thought about it. My long term goal for now is to make it to Provincials. So I have a whole YEAR before provincials, so I should really take advantage of that time. There is no need to rush onto the stage again (other than I have so much fun doing it) I really need to take this time to make the changes I need to in order to actually accomplish my long term goal. So, even tho it may feel like I am doing nothing at times cuz I am not really in contest prep mode, I really am working toward my goal, with each workout and putting my all into it to build up my weak areas. It will be a very exciting "reveal" when I lean down again and see what changes I have made!!

I was reading Heather Bears blog today. http://phatbearclaw.blogspot.com/ She has recently made the same decision to postpone competing in order to really work on her physique. But what she said to today really struck me :

Quote:
"Kenny and I finally got a weekend together w/ Jen, Brian, Lishia and some of Brian's family at Lake Erie. This was a NON-working weekend and I had a blast. It was nice to get away. Kenny and I have never been there before. For the first time, all of us sat down and had a drink, cheeseburger and fries. This never happens because one of us is always dieting for a show. My husband was actually the one that noticed it. Kenny said, "you're all eating"!!!! It is so nice to eat and have fun and NOT worry about it. Lishia made a statement that made alot of sense. We are in our off-season and we think we look fat, but the difference is that we know how to get it off in 8-12 weeks where others don't. We actually look half way decent compare to the rest of the women out there. This is where women have issues, they think we look like we do at a show, year round-and we can't. I've had a few people tell me, wow your puttin on weight-and I just say YES and I love it. The only way to make changes to your body is to put on weight while continuing to workout in your off-season. Anyways, my point was that I had a blast and ate ALOT!!!! "

I have put on WEIGHT! I weighed myself this morning and I was at 134.4!! Not where I need to be to fit my cute little jeans. BUT it is a wayyyy different 134lbs that it would have been a few years ago. I can still fit most of my everyday clothes right now. If I weighed 134lbs a few years ago I would been 5 sizes BIGGER! and much much JIGGLIER! Right now I can still see some definition and I can see some veins popping in my shoulders and arms at the gym when I am all pumped. The condition of my butt however is not so lucky . . LOL!

And I also realized that in order to add the muscle that I want, I am going to be heavier even when I lean down next time. This is a continual process of growing and learning. I have to allow my mind to grow with my expectations. This last competition taught me a bit of that. I was probably 115-117 when I stepped on stage - my fist comp I was 113. I could have freaked out this time and not felt ready cuz in my mind I had to be 113 to be stage ready. But the reality is I WAS ready and I looked better at my new 117 than I did at my old 113, cuz I had added more muscle. I was heavier this time but I was LEANER this time.

2007 vs 2009

So now that I see the scale going up I am trying not to freak. 134 could be freak out stuff for me (most of my teens and my 20's i never weighed more than 120, but I am smaller now so HA!), but I have been training hard and heavy and some of that is muscle, some of it is water, and I need the weight right now to help me get to my goal, so I am gonna embrace it . . . . . . to a certain point LOL!

In all honesty it could be better. My diet has been extremely horrible, which has led to such rapid weight gain. This past weekend was a long weekend and my in laws made a 5 day stay out of it. I had at at least 2 beers or coolers a day, I made 2 different ice cream cakes, I ate nachos, and an entire $3 bag of 5cent gummy candies! and hamburgers, and hot dogs, and pasta salad, and potato chips and more . . .

I don't eat like that everyday, so with a return to clean eating I won't be as pooofy as I am now but the lesson is still the same, I WILL be heavier. I need to continue to adapt my expectations I am still learning and growing . . . (in many ways LOL!)

Eat, Drink, and Be Poofy!

2009-08-05T11:37:00.000-07:00

Here's to new begginings! LOL!

So..... my inlaws were here for 4 1/2 days. And I chillaxed, I just went with the flow and I ate what I wanted and drank what I wanted went to the gym . . . once

That was actually a good thing, cuz most of last week was a write off due to an unusual family emergency. Most times I can get around interuptions in my schedule and carry on, but last week just blew me outta the water. So it was AWESOME when my bro-in-law asked to go tot the gym!! I got him and my sis-in-law a 7 day free visitors pass (tee hee hee . . . shhhh!) We had intentions of going at least twice while they were here . . . intentions . . .

Not only did they help get me to the gym, but yesterday (last day of their visit) they all schemed with my hubby to get me outta the house. The got me hook line and sinker by asking if I wanted to take pics of my nephews at the skatepark!

While I was gone they CLEANED MY HOUSE!! It is so sparkly and shiny! It is cleaner than when they got here, they even wiped my kids hand prints of the wall in the hally and dusted my ceiling fan kinda cleaning! WOW! I should be good for like 2 weeks now! (jk)

So for all my stressing and freakin' out last week, things are lookin' up in a huge way! :)

So now I am 3 1/2 weeks away from my lil'sis' wedding, and I got to get my butt in gear!!

I am going to try a more moderate approach to Keto . . . (I know, I know, ya'll are thinkin' make up your mind you wishy washy flake! LOL!) But, instead of eating bacon and sausage and megga ammounts of fat like traditional keto I am following the plan outlined in a book by Team Scivation it is a FREE download, and if I love anything more than fitness it is FREE STUFF, so you combine free and fitness well that is like orgasm good! (oh no she din't !!) LOL!

http://www.scivationbooks.com/12weeks.htm

oh and another thing that is amazing peanut and almond butter are encouraged and a preferable fat source on this plan . OMGoh oh! oh! oh! ooohhhh.......

K, I'm done. :P

Trying to Stay Sane . . .

2009-07-29T16:12:00.000-07:00

OH . MY . GOODNESS !

This week can NOT be over with fast enough and it is only WEDNESDAY! This is a brief rundown of my manic situation . . . I'll just give you the highlights.

Tuesday morning starts with an early morning phone call my father-in-law is in the hospital.

Screw any plans of getting anywhere with the car cuz Hubby needs it and that obviously takes priority.

My computer is infected with a virus . . fighting that.

I am expecting more in-laws to come visit this long weekend. 6 people in fact. I have a bed for 2 of them. The boys will have to tent in the back yard, and my kids will sleep on the floor . . . we'll make it work . . .

BUT . . because of the hospitalization 2 more family members drove to town in a panic and they are staying at my house as well.

AND my son is sick with "slapcheek" or " 5th disease" whatever you wanna call it, and his rash gets WAYYYY worse when he is in the sun. So despite the fact that we have been having a record heat wave for the past week and a half, my kids are stuck inside and driving me MAD!

And today my little chihuahua yorkie - Tucker was choking (on what i don't know )and fell over, recovered but then was still in distress so I had to call my husband home from work so he could rush us to the vet. Tucker is on prednisone to reduce the swelling in his throat and is on a soft food diet for a few days. He is still making gulping moves while sticking his head wayyy forward like he is tryig to swallow something. The vet thinks he swallowed whatever it was and now his throat is just irritated. Hopefully he improves in the next day or so or they may have to do further exploring. So whatever he swallwed is now in his little tummy and we have no idea what it is and what it will do to him, so he is under close observation . . .

My sister is getting married in a few weeks and I have topiaries and trellis' and favors and tulle ALL OVER my house cuz I am making a crap load of stuff.

I had no clean towels for company so I am frantically doing laundry. I open the dryer to discover the socks and underwear have been fused together, and hard clumps of glue are stuck to the dryer drum cuz a hot glue gun stick SOMEHOW ended up in the dryer . . . . . .

So, nothing "inspirational" will be spewing from my lips for a few days, thanks for "listening" I am just gonna go scream into a pillow now . . . .

Along For The Ride

2009-07-28T12:33:00.000-07:00

This is so cool! My cute little friend Shannon Davies is featured as Competitor of the Week on Bodybuilding.com!!

She sent me the link cuz she included a picture of me and Credwyn with her (we are all from the same town) from our last competition together! HOW SWEET IS SHE?!!

http://www.bodybuilders.com/fitness.htm

The last picture in the profile, I am the one on the left; royal purple suit. :)
Credwyn placed 2nd in masters figure and this was her 1st competition! I placed 5th in medium figure. Shannon won figure short and figure overall at that competition and qualified for provincials. She is really gonna go far in the industry, and she is such a lovely person.

CONGRATS to Shannon!

Oh! How I Missed Thee . .

2009-07-28T09:59:00.000-07:00

Protein Pancakes! Cottage Cheese! Oh how I missed thee!

I have just been stuck in this rut of competition dieting for the past 3 years and I have never put cottage cheese back into my diet! I have been scared of dairy.

. . . but I have to admit I was a cottage cheese addict. Hi, my name is Sylvia and I am a recovering cottage cheese aholic. I would eat cottage cheese for breakfast in my pancakes, for my mid morning snack with apples and oats , I would blend it up with seasonings and make a dip for my veggies, a dip that I could eat an entire CUP of! YUM! . . . I ate cottage cheese with everything! I think there is such a thing as too much of a good thing.

I loved how my physique made changes after eliminating dairy from my diet. I had been stuck with no progress for so long then, bam! My butt and thighs finally went down a bit. So I developed an addiction, or obsession with the skinny lean feeling and became scared of dairy.

But I am adding it back into my diet with moderation.

Today I made my FAVORITE protein pancakes!

( . . . yeah I am not able to do the keto diet, it makes my tummy feel too gross.)

....so anyway my pancakes . . so fluffy, and yummy, and big and satisfying ! I don't even want regular pancakes when I can have these!

Protein Pancakes
makes 2 servings

Put in a blender in this order:

4 egg whites
1/2 C. Cottage Cheese
1/2 C. oats
1/2 tsp vanilla
1/4 tsp baking powder

Blend well. Pour half the batter in a lightly oiled, large non-stick pan. Cook well on each side, these are thick and fluffy they take a while to cook thru, so don't be in a hurry to flip it.

Today I sprinkled fresh picked saskatoon berries on the raw pancake in the pan to ensure even distribution of my berries. I like to top them with frozen blueberries, I microwave them till they are hot and juicy and I add 1 pkt of splenda and pour it over my pancake.

As you can see they are HUGE that is not a cute little saucer that is a full size DINNER PLATE! I suppose I coulda made several cute little pancakes and made an adorable little stack, but . . . . nnaaaa! . . . this is easier. Who has time for bein' all "Martha Stewart" when I am gonna wolf it down in 2 minutes anyway LOL! Besides I think an entire plate covered in one big pancake IS a wonderful thing . . . . don't you?!

Nutitional Data
1 LARGE Pancake

Calories 122
Protein 16
Carbs 11g
Fiber 1g
Sugar 2.5g
Fat 2.5g

Random Words of Wisdom

2009-07-25T16:31:00.000-07:00

My son, who is turning 7 next month, is such a chatterbox, he talks NON-STOP, he is never without something to say. I am not exagerating in the least. He is alwayyyyys talking!

Sometimes it can be pretty entertaining cuz he says the most random things. I really shoulda kept a blog of his random tid bits of wisdom and insight which usually come from the back seat of the car and start with " Hey, Mom, you know what would be cool? . . . "

Yesterday I was in the kitchen, he walks in and says:

" Hey Mom, wouldn't it be cool if everyone on earth could fly, but they would still eat cereal, but I wouldn't lay eggs, but laying eggs is better than having a baby in your belly"

Previous to this no one was talking about birds, we had not been talking about cereal or babies he just randomly comes up with these thoughts and strings them all together in a sentence.

. . . priceless!

If The World Could Just Revolve Around Me . . .

2009-07-24T09:55:00.000-07:00

I am trying to decide what to do today. Well, not really what to do, but which and how much . . .
My gym schedule got messed up a bit this week. I am working out in the evenings for the summer to try and save money and not use childminding so much. Tuesday it was my turn to go to the gym while hubby watched the kids.

BUT

I got ~~suckered~~ invited to a meeting for a marketing ~~scam~~ opportunity. It was only supposed to be 30min long . . . yyyyyeah . . . the first 30 min were spend trying to get the computer presentation sound to work . . . then another 40min later they fianally tell ya what this "company" is all about and inform YOU that YOU could be rich to if you buy in for $500 . . . erg!

I kept looking at my watch and seeing my gym time slipping away . . but I am too polite to walk out of the middle of a presentation and on the friend who invited me. *sigh*

At the end 2hours I ended up crying , cuz of all the pressure AND my pent up anger and frustration of people talking about $500 like woop- deee- dooo it's only $500 ! Well to me that is a small fortune, that I don't have and am not gonna fork over so willingly , not to mention if I ain't convinced this is a good idea I am not gonna go ask for anyone else $500! . . . I was emotionally drained and mad and frustrated when I left I am surprise I didn't go home and faceplant into and oreo cake!

So long story short I missed my workout LOL!

Thurs I can't get to the gym cuz it is hubbys day to use the car and Thurs evenings are busy.

So what I am trying to decide is if I should combine 2 workouts today so I don't have to go to the gym on Sat. Cuz I have OTHER STUFF to do on Sat.

Hubby was told to take half of the day off today YAY! he gets to leave at 12. So we booked childminding and we will go together.

Today is supposed to be legs, and I can't skip a leg workout they neeeeed it. My other workout to be accomplished is shoulders which I am also trying to build and don't want to miss.

So I am thinking I am gonna try to do a HUGE superset, circuit workout . . leg exercise, shoulder exercise, cardio interval . . ('scuse me I think I just threw up a little ) it is gonna be harsh cuz I have a lot to get done in a relatively short ammount of time.

I just hate it when things don't go according to schedule, but who am I kidding?! I don't have a schedule, I have a wish list of things, a tentative plan, of what I would like to get done as long as there are no interruptions, emergencies, lack of clean towels or underwear, delays, sickness, or someone elses more important needs . . LOL?

Bottom line I have to be flexible and find a way to at least get my workouts in - you can always buy more clean underwear from the dollar store LOL! (I can't afford to buy a new body)

So as much as I complain about me having to bust my a$$ this afternoon and combine workouts . . . .

. . . . . . I am probably gonna love it!

Great Fittin' Jeans . . . Eventually

2009-07-23T18:26:00.000-07:00

Well, my off-season goal of fitting in my cute jeans needs better approach. Cuz, apparently eatin' whatever I feel like is not workin' LOL!
6 1/2 weeks after competing and I can't even do up the jeans I was rockin' more than 6 weeks before competing.

Ugh! I am wondering if I should really start my blog with such a crappy image . . .

So now I have decided to try a ketogenic diet, something I have NEVER done before. To be honest, I find it scary. BUT, I seen other figure competitors and bodybuilders have amazing results. So I am going to see how my body reacts.

My sister is getting married on Aug 29. When I started that gave me 6 weeks to get in those jeans. Not that I am wearing the jeans to the wedding :P I just know that when I fit those jeans I look good and feel good about they way I look. :)

I am almost done my first week and the scale in goin' down . . . I have NOT tried on the jeans, I will refrain from daily torture.

I am doing 4 weight workouts a week, with intense cardio intervals between sets (skipping, pop-squats, up-and overs, step ups, burpees etc ) keeping my heart rate up and incorporating my cardio the entire time I am at the gym. (40-50 min)

I have decided to start my re-feed on Saturday. So before I do my re-feed I will try on the jeans and do a weight update. Then I want to do another jean fitting and weigh in on Monday to compare results before and after re-feed.

Is This Supposed To Be Hard?!

2009-07-23T15:27:00.000-07:00

Ya'll have NO IDEA how long it took me to find a template and fumble my way thru html. PHEW!

I know NOTHING about html.

So please hang it there while I figure this all out and get all my links and tabs working etc.

But I am bloggin and I am EXCITED!